I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expect?

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by 1izombie, Feb 16, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expect?
     
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    *blinks*

    Ummm... the power to eat in bed without getting crumbs all over the place?

    (thank you steeb. I was feeling really down. this made me laugh a little)
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    Glow-in-the-dark eyelashes so you can see where you're going at all times.
     
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    Special emanation come out of your pores that attracts rats.... :anony: yup you're f345d
     
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    Super itching.
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    An uncontrollable need to search out and eat dead skin to rid the world of it.
     
  7. friendless

    friendless Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    You will be able to suck blood through a hollow feeding tube and you will be attracted to the carbon dioxide emitted by victims. According to wikipedia, "bedbugs can live for a year or eighteen months without feeding...well-fed specimens typically live six to nine months" so if you successfully pin down random victims, expect to live for six to nine months but that depends on when you were bitten. You could just give up eating and live for a year to eighteen months.

    Also according to wiki, "All bedbugs mate via a process termed traumatic insemination. Instead of inserting their genitalia into the female's reproductive tract as is typical in copulation, males instead pierce females with hypodermic genitalia and ejaculate into the body cavity." So if you get laid, it will also be with a hollow feeding tube.

    "There are at least twenty-seven known pathogens (some estimates are as high as forty-one) that are capable of living inside a bed bug or on its mouthparts" so you will be able to give your super villain enemies West Nile virus (through either one of your hollow feeding tubes). Not as effective as some super powers, but it may kill them eventually, especially if you contracted Ebola virus.

    This all sounds pretty horrible, but don't worry, you only have 6 months to a year and a half to live anyway. Enjoy your feeding tubes!
     
  8. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    And thus friendless has concluded the entire discussion... Anyone dispute fact? I think not!
     
  9. friendless

    friendless Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    Just occurred to me, when battling super villains, piercing them with your hypodermic genitalia and ejaculating into their body cavity would be more effective than just giving them diseases. Aim for the vital organs, Steve! Aim for the vitals!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2010
  10. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    You are now effectively immortal. :baby: No more aging on a cellular level, no infirmities, no cognitive decline, no DNA mutations associated with cancer. No susceptibility to the diseases and viral/bacterial/fungal pathogens that will eventually eliminate all the people you love and cherish.

    Just eternal life plagued by fundamental misgivings about the value of it. :eek: :eek: :gy:
     
  11. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec

    errrr what would I be called with a power like that??? crumbless wonder boy?? :) glad i could make u laugh even a little :)
     
  12. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Re: I've been bitten by a radioactive bedbug. What kind of superpowers should I expec


    :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: lol that was well researched lol too funny!!!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.