i have been off the alcohol and drugs for about 3 months now. got back in with the "wrong crowd". so far i have drank 8 bottles of lager and 100ml benylin. the need to block out memories, thoughts, voices is my prioritiry. n not sure about the effects on my health. but i am sure i am going to commit suicide in the next 3 years, so what the hell.any advice welcome, as i am sure i dont have the guts to go through with it and end it all. i am so tempted to add the final full-stop tonight. it is too much to live with.