Funny how I find myself back here now, after all the progress I thought I had made. I feel like I need to give myself a new introduction, because I'm a different person than when I was previously here. In a couple days I'm gonna be in Vegas, sounds fun right? Maybe it will be, but all I got is a few bucks and a backpack. I'll be homeless once more (I already am, but at least for now I have a safe place to sleep). When I step off the bus I'm not gonna know a single person, in a place I don't even know, and I won't have much time to figure shit out before my resources run out (Any slips to my addictions will only cut my time down more, time that I don't have to begin with). As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I feel scared by all of this. What if I fail? I don't want to be back on the streets again... I'm so tired of living like that. I managed to get my life together for a while, I had a job, a place to live, and lots of friends. Things were going great despite little things here and there, but somehow it all fell apart. Luckily I have one close friend left who's letting me stay with her till I leave. She's been the one to motivate me to keep fighting for years, and a part of me wishes I could stay here with her forever. I love her, but she only sees me as her best friend (Of course), and friends always seem to drift apart, it scares me to think one day she may not be in my life at all... Around her I feel so much stronger, but when I don't have that support... I don't know what will happen. Sometimes I view it all as a grand adventure. Other times, I feel like these last few nights here will be my last moments of solace before I fall back into the darkness. Sometimes I feel so scared and lonely. I just wanna stay asleep forever. I hate that side of myself. I will strive to make it on my own, prove to myself that I am strong and I don't need others to carry me through life. If I can't, I wouldn't want to be alive anyways. So I guess I've hit a rough point that's really gonna test everything I've learned, and I know I can't give up, but it's so damn hard to face everything after all I've already been through. I thought the struggles were over, but they've just begun. So I came back here, hoping to get a bit of support for those times when I feel like it's all too much. If I can help someone while I'm here, even better. I hope anybody who sees this is having an amazing day. If not, then I hope you can at least find a reason to smile or laugh about something.