I'm dead tired and about ready to hit the sack for the night, but I just wanted to get out a quick thought that occurred to me. I'm 22 years old. It's easy enough to say that I'm only a quarter of the way through my lifespan, that I've got my whole life ahead of me, that I haven't seen anything yet. But you know what? I think it's been too fucking long. I wasn't meant to live this long, my mind can't handle it. I should have died when I six or something. Should have gotten some horrible fucking childhood disease and just been done with it. More than anything, I'm just tired and overwhelmed. This is dragging on and on forever, I need a break and some time to think, but there's no rest. It just keeps coming at me and I can't stop it. And I'm not even a third of the way done yet?! Fuck me, I can't take it anymore. I should have been done long ago, it would have been more fitting that way. I'd still have gotten a brief taste of life- that's all I need or want. I wouldn't have to grow up and know what I know now. And I'd still have "her". I refuse to buy into this long-term bullshit. It's all just a big scam. Fuck my life. I need sleep. I probably shouldn't even post this incoherent mess, but I just don't care anymore.