I joined when I was 13, and hardly even thought about making it to graduating high school since I was so caught up in wanting to just die. In those six years, I've attempted suicide twice, I've self harmed, I've been sent to inpatient treatment for an eating disorder, and I've used enough drugs I think my parents would disown me if they knew of my experience in that area. But, I've also graduated high school, completed half of my undergraduate degree a year early while on a path to a masters degree, and I've recovered from the previously mentioned eating disorder. I have an internship secured for the summer and I've got a solid plan for my future and the goals I want to achieve. Last November, I was diagnosed with PTSD, as well as my previous diagnoses of depression and anxiety. To put it bluntly, that fucked me up. It made me realize how much my upbringing has affected my mental health and these past six months have been particularly difficult. I know I've hardly been on this site anymore, but I seem to have hit a wall and sometimes it still feels like killing myself is the only option I have anymore. It's affecting my everyday life and my academics and I just feel trapped and I don't know who to talk to or how to deal with it anymore.