I've been there again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by riz, Aug 1, 2007.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I'm at that point again.

    I've been writing the letter over and over in my head.

    "I'm sorry Mom. I didn't meant to hurt you."

    I've been thinking of writing all of my experiences down in a notebook so that my suicide doesn't go unexplained.

    Maybe if everyone knows why I'm running away from life, they'll be able to accept my departure as how I see it: A refreshing silence.

    "I love you, but I finally had to stop the constant pain in my chest."

    With every beat, I feel more dramatic. I want the world to see me the way I see myself. Hopeless. I feel undeniably emo. The word has never rang so true, but these feelings won't let me think straight.

    "You had all the hope in the world for me, but you were wrong."

    I'm almost ready. It's been creeping up on me lately. I'm just not fit for this.

    "Oooh Baby, Do you bleed like me?"
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Has anything changed for you recently riz? Please don't act on your feelings at this time. When you are down a depressed your view of things becomes skewed. The thought are the only way out is to die. That is not necessarily true. You cannot think clearly while in this state of mind. If you need someone to talk with, feel free to PM me. I will get back with you as soon as i possibly can. :hug:
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I think it's a great idea to write that stuff down..not necessarily as a "suicide note/book" but just to get it out. It could just be pretend, I do stuff like this and it helps.
  4. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :cry: riz... Missed you. :sad: Get in touch? Always here. :arms:

  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I can feel how much your hurting in your writing , maybe writing it down for you to reflect on may help, i have recently been asked to draw what im feeling by my councellor as i sometimes cant express to others how bad it can be, at first i thought it was silly to draw (partly becouse i cant!!) but its proving to b a away of expressing whats hidden deep inside without having to come right out and say it.
    Its just a shared thought its not for everybody but do keep talking here you are not alone pm anytime TC
  6. scott1891

    scott1891 Member

    hopeless, pointless, whats the use... All emotions I to can relate to. I hit bottom 11 years ago. I can say writing down is a good way to get it out. Please step away from the edge. I am so glad that I did. I can tell you that in the darkest hours there seems to be only one way to escape the pain but the the truth is there is another way out and when you walk through the door and see what truly awaits you. You will be glad you fought for life. Be strong. Never give up.
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