i too have thought these moments through just lately, the past few weeks have been among some of the worst i have experienced. i have started to put things in place, ie, update emergency contacts for other people when they cant contact me etc. ive been driving round looking for the remotest places to 'do it' so i wont be disturbed, and strangely i feel calm about it all. talking it through in my head like its a normal thing to do. i just want to make sure i dont fail, yet again.