I've been through a lot in my life...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blueoctober_1983, Apr 14, 2012.

  1. blueoctober_1983

    blueoctober_1983 New Member

    I've been through a lot in my life. My dad's an alcoholic that was rarely home. And when he was home, he was physically and emotionally abusive. We moved around a lot, so I was never able to make friends in school. Instead of making friends I was always bullied and tormented in the many schools I attended, cause I was usually the only person of color in my schools and cause I was a scrawny 120 lb glasses wearing dork. College was the loneliest time of my life, cause I was working three days-a-week to make rent and going to school the other four days-a-week, so I really couldn't socialize or meet new people; and I went to college before Facebook and MySpace were big, so I really couldn't keep in touch with those people that I knew from high school. On most nights, I would hug my pillow and cry myself to sleep, while either the tv or an alternative rock cd played all night long. A week before my 21st birthday, I lost my 18 year old sister. After college, I really didn't know what to do with my life. I got a job that helped me get by, but the hours were so bad that I really couldn't meet new people or make any friends. And now here I am, 28 years old, and I don't think I've ever had a friend. Most of my time is spent at either work or my apartment. I get very anxious in large unknown crowds. Netflix and Pandora help me pass the time on most nights and weekends. I feel so hopelessly alone.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi Blueoctober - welcome to SF :hug:
    I am so sorry that you feel so lonely. I am glad that you found us here... I know that I have made some amazing friends here despite social anxiety and other issues. If you want to talk, please feel free to PM me :) Or hope in chat... I am there most evenings :hug:
    Take care and keep posting!