thats a good question y do i even want to bother. the truth is i cant do anything even seemingly simple things. i would rather die than try to make things better its just too much hassle and uncertainty and anxiety. i cant do paperwork or make calls or anything i just wont do it. u probably dont understand it but thats how it is. but i cant accept life as it is so the only option seems to terminate. i cant go thru the pain of trying to make things better it will take too long and no guarantee to work out. i NEED a solution NOW.