I've been trying

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, Mar 15, 2014.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Hello everybody! Some people have known me from the past. I've been away for awhile because I needed a break. However, I've been bothered lately about my thoughts about regretting not dying after every suicide attempt I did in my past. I posted on Facebook that "I wasn't supposed to live, I was supposed to die". I was talking about all the attempts I've survived and how I regret that I lived through them. The memories are bad and I just wish I never could remember them and that's why I wish I could be dead, or at least unconscious for a long time. I don't want to be a vegetable though. I was thinking about getting ECT again to possibly zap out all the bad stuff but I know it'll zap out a lot of good stuff too so that's not a very good option. All the thoughts I'm bothered by are overwhelming me. Plus I'm infatuated with somebody and can't get him out of my head. I am going crazy.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi to you I am sorry to hear you are struggling with those thoughts again I do hope that you do reach out to your doctor and get support you need to stay safe ok hugs
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Yes, TE, when I go back to group I will continue to work out my stuff.
     
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