I've decided to live.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Colourful, Jan 2, 2010.

  1. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I don't what just happened to me.
    The past 3 days have been absolute hell for me, I've felt worse than ever before. I was set on suicide, I thought there was no way out, I didn't see how I could ever get out of this...stop feeling like this...
    But just a few minutes ago I was laying in my bed thinking about dying. I've always wondered what it'd be like if I did follow through with it and how that would feel, but only now I have realised that it will be horrible and it's just not worth it...and I've also realised fully that I just can't do this to my family.
    I don't know what just happened to me...I was going to do it tonight, but now I don't think I am.
    It's like something in my brain clicked and now I see things differently.
    I don't want to die.
    I have realised that there are solutions to all my problems; they all require a lot of work and effort yes, but I can do it if I take it one step at a time...
    I think I want to fight for a life to live.

    Just had to get this out.

    Hope this helps someone out there who's feeling like there's no way out.
  2. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    :hug: that is excellent news that you want to live :) thanks for sharing it with us all, it really good that something just clicked, and that you are prepared to put the hard work in to solve your problmes :hug: happy for you :)
  3. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Thanks :hug:
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I'm really glad you want to live. :hug: Even if the solutions to your problems require a lot of effort, it's still worth it, and SF will be behind you 100%!
  5. burnseasonxD

    burnseasonxD Member

    That's brilliant :) Wow, I'm so happy for you ;)
  6. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Thank you both, this forum definitely helps a lot. :hug:
  7. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    It's good that you found a little piece of you that is clinging to hope. I don't think you ever really wanted to die, I think you just want change like most of us. Keep clinging to that.
  8. MsMaggie

    MsMaggie New Member

    I'm so very happy for you. I keep telling myself that I really don't want to die that I just don't want to live in this misery anymore.
    The very best of luck on your journey. May G-d bless you every step of the way.
  9. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Thank you all, I hope you all find that little bit of hope too and cling to it.