I've decided to remain single for life.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by OutCaste, Jun 15, 2008.

  1. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    I've come to the conclusion, that I can't really envision life with a partner. I get to do everything my way, and I get to do everything I want, and I don't have to care about anyone but myself. I really don't give a fuck if the society thinks I'm wierd or I'm running from responsiblities(responsibilities according to whom ?). When you get married you give up a LOT. Every decision you make will have your partner's input as a backdrop. If you ignore your partner's wishes, the marriage will disintegrate. It will make my life such a hell because by nature I'm an extremely submissive person and people ride on me all the time. Anyhow, you give up several degrees of freedom when you get married. no two ways about that. You can't just get up and move to jump start your career in another city b/c you have to think about whether your partner can relocate etc. So many more examples I could give. Besides I'm already damaged goods(mentally) so why spoil some one else's life. It just doesn't seem right. I have seen my parent's mariage which is nothing more than a failure in reality. I don't consider my self worthy of a relationship.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 15, 2008
  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Well I'm nearly 40, spent my whole life on my own, and I can see many positive things about being single, it's a simpler way of life, I feel more secure, am less concerned about what others think about me etc. so I think that's a good thing.

    But in a way there are problems, when I see people who are happily in love, being all romantic, there's a darker side of myself that hates them for it, a bitterness towards them, because I can see my own failings, my lack of desirability, a lack of being able to cope with the world, my own unhappiness etc. But still, if I had the choice of having a girlfriend I would turn it down, simply because it's not who I am or what I want.

    I think in the end it's not about whether I'm single or in a relationship, I think it's about making the most of the situation I'm in, making the most of who I am. I used to say "I don't care about anyone else", but learning to care, about my pets, my plants, the environment, and even other people has been an important step forward for me, I no longer see myself as an isolated person, but connected to others. I'm also trying to improve my condition through exercise and learning, so that I can really appreciate myself more as a person.

    So one day I will see that smooching couple and smile, not because they have love and I don't, not because they are different to me, but because we are the same. They've found happiness together and I'll have found happiness on my own, and I can only hope that happiness lasts for everyone.
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Find someone who also wants to remain single for life and you two might make a good couple :hug:
  4. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Nice one fromthatshow :tongue:

    Ive had this mindset as well, until recently when I met someone that made me change my whole outlook and made me want to be with them forever. I can understand you want to remain single, but never shut out the oppurtunity if it arrises.
  5. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Like it or not, its becoming more ad more common in todays society. I will probably end up alone and have basically been so I am gonna try and embrace it .
  6. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I also plan on being single my whole life. I refuse to give love a chance when love denied me so many times and abandoned me for so many years. But my life will be short so meh.
  7. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    I'm the same, and will probably remain single. I can't be happy in a relationship unless I am the boss, yet I continually question my ability to lead. It's very confusing and the only answer I've found so far is isolation.
  8. Moony

    Moony Well-Known Member

    yeah me too, can't see myself being that close to someone else. I can't even bear to brush my teeth when someone is in the room. Lifelong relationship isn't for me.
  9. klodo

    klodo Well-Known Member

    I didn't plan being alone for ever. It just sort of happened.Its actually incredibly easy to remain single as a man. All you do is nothing. If you don't go chasing women like most men do and have few or no friends to go out with in your youth then its that simple.I don't like it though. Its more a matter of having to get used to it in order to survive and not go mad.If I died and could come back reincarnated I would never chose a lonely life again.
  10. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    i don't know but i think a part of me is having this self loathing..i just like to hate myself and i feel that i want to be damned..i like it that way for some strange reason...i think i like self pitying..but there is also a part of me that wants to remain isolated for the sake of mental peace...by marrying and having a family you are going to surround yourself with more people and you become emotionally attached to them..in the long run it is likely to cause more hurt and pain..that always happens because its a part of the relationship..buddha ( im not a buddhist but i admire him a lot) also said something like this:

    "He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes."