...about 2 years ago I met a guy that was 1 year older then me. He was awesome, and we had the greatest times together. That's when I was questioning my sexuality and I found myself liking him then more then a friend. Well obviously he was straight so that crashed and burned, and I got suicidal and hated myself. He never knew, and I'm glad he did it... ...now I have the same situation, but 10 times worse... I met this guy, from Finland actually, and we became probably the best friends people could ever become...well, I told him I was unsure about my orientation, and he told me he didn't care. Well he kept giving me wierd signs so I thought maybe just finally I would get my chance at being with someone... but no. he's straight. I'm doing the WORST thing someone with a low self-esteem/unsure sexual orientation should be doing, FALLING for straight people. Sounds so common, but this might break me... I've been triggering a lot because of it, and it's so sickening. It hurts...a lot. Worst pain I've ever felt. I'd rather break half the bones in my body then have to endure this.