I dont know why I came here. Last weekend my shitty life came to a complete meltdown. There have been alot of things that I just cant take anymore. I have some friends around me but I dont think they even understand. My parents I think they care but at the same time most of their pep talks involve just saying "get out of the bed" or "why do you act like that" Saturday I reached my boiling point. More crap happened while I was out with frienda and I ended up coming hope kinda tipsy at like 12:30. I drank a pint of Vodka and took xxxxxfiguring I just wouldnt wake up again. I was pretty pissed when I woke up at 11 the next day. I didnt understand it and just kinda stayed in the bed all day. I guess at some point I threw up because by my bed there was a towel where it looked like I puked my guts out on. I figured the puking is probably the only thing that saved me and it pissed me off. I figured it to be one of those "life changing moments" but day slater I still wish I was dead. Today I went and bought another pint of vodka and another package of xxxxx. I also bought some xxxxx. The total this time is going to be xxxxx. I figure I have already hurt myself because ive been having sorta mild pains in my side and headaches as well as dizziness ever sense my first attempt but I dont care anymore. If I do this will it work. I really dont want anyone telling me not to do it because its my decision. I just want to go to bed and not wake up. Its too hard to feel like this everyday.
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