I've given up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sdot10, Nov 28, 2006.

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  1. Sdot10

    Sdot10 New Member

    I dont know why I came here. Last weekend my shitty life came to a complete meltdown. There have been alot of things that I just cant take anymore. I have some friends around me but I dont think they even understand. My parents I think they care but at the same time most of their pep talks involve just saying "get out of the bed" or "why do you act like that" Saturday I reached my boiling point. More crap happened while I was out with frienda and I ended up coming hope kinda tipsy at like 12:30. I drank a pint of Vodka and took xxxxxfiguring I just wouldnt wake up again. I was pretty pissed when I woke up at 11 the next day. I didnt understand it and just kinda stayed in the bed all day. I guess at some point I threw up because by my bed there was a towel where it looked like I puked my guts out on. I figured the puking is probably the only thing that saved me and it pissed me off. I figured it to be one of those "life changing moments" but day slater I still wish I was dead. Today I went and bought another pint of vodka and another package of xxxxx. I also bought some xxxxx. The total this time is going to be xxxxx. I figure I have already hurt myself because ive been having sorta mild pains in my side and headaches as well as dizziness ever sense my first attempt but I dont care anymore. If I do this will it work. I really dont want anyone telling me not to do it because its my decision. I just want to go to bed and not wake up. Its too hard to feel like this everyday.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2006
  2. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    over the counter drugs are very hard to commit suicide with. Theres a good chance it will fail and youll just end up with liver damage or something like that. if it didnt work before what makes you think it will work this time?
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome...glad you found us...sorry i had to edit your post, but methods, even OTC are against the guidelines...more importantly, please share with us what is going on for you if you would like...we are here and you will see there are many ppl here who are experiencing similiar feelings...again, welcome and sorry to greet you with an edit...but here's a big hug, Jackie
  4. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    If you think they care (I bet they do !) then please talk to your parents about how you feel, it is worth a try surely ??? It is devastating to lose someone you love to suicide and even more so when you can't understand why because they didnt attempt to talk.
  5. Hallo. :smile:
    Forgive my curiousity, but can you remember when you first started having these kinds of feelings about wanting to end your life?
  6. babycheeses

    babycheeses Active Member

    "I really dont want anyone telling me not to do it because its my decision. I just want to go to bed and not wake up. Its too hard to feel like this everyday."

    To some degree you're right. It is your decision to take those drugs or whatever else might harm or kill you. It's also your decision to post a message on this forums. You know you don't have to do this. You know you can choose not to.
    Thing is, by posting here it shows you're not completely resolute on ending things. You're ambivalent about it.
    It's hard and painful but it's always more important that you choose to live. If nothing else it means you can keep making choices, continue to have some control over how things play out. Because once you've died that's one less choice you have. You lose more control, you don't regain more.

    Only you know why it is important in your life and I can't offer more than that, sorry, cause I don't know the details.
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