Well I'm pretty much ready to commit suicide, I've finally collected everything that I need to kill myself with. I pray to God that this will actually work although I'm quite confident that it will. I've even worked out a way so that I will not be saved. I'm so ready to die, I'm actually really looking forward to this. People will have no clue what brought it on because they all think I'm excited about starting school again and getting back on track with my life. I can't believe I'm in this place again, It's so awful. It feels like it'll never go away.