That's right. I've been living a lie these past few months. I've got no one. No one who loves me or cares for me. They just prooved it was a lie. I am so foolish. I thought someone actually cared. But no, he hasn't called for days and never will call again. And I'm in love with someone I can never be with. I love him so much it makes it hard to breathe. I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember myself. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. I'm only safe with him. I need to see him. But he's somewhere I can't reach now. I love him, he was the only one who ever cared. I need and want to be near him. The only way I can reach him is if I just drift away, just like he did. I can't handle the nightmares anymore. I can't handle the memories anymore. They're sweet memories turned into nightmares. He was my soul mate, I know he was. And he cared. I cared. He made life easier to go through. He stood by me when I needed a friend. He said that everything will be okay. Me and him, we were never meant for this world. If he was meant to stay, then he wouldn't have been taken away from me just like that. He wouldn't have gotten into that accident. He wouldn't have been just disappeared from me just like he did. He wouldn't even had be taken to the hospital. And I'm not made for this world. If I were made to stay, then I wouldn't have been sick. I know there's not much time left, and so far all the time I have left has been nothing but hurtful. I've deleted all of our pictures. I used to keep them in a file I never dared to open, just because of the memories. But I never want to bring them back. I'm scared to, I'm scared of the pain. I need to be with him, I really do. It's the only safe place I can think of.