I've had enough but im too scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whyamistillhere, Jun 11, 2012.

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  1. whyamistillhere

    whyamistillhere New Member

    Im here because obviously i want help. I'm confused, scared and feel like im alone.

    I have good parents- they argue, we have problems like every other family. But I feel so stressed. Since i was young i was told i have to succeed, become a doctor or a lawyer. I've self harmed before- and have being doing so since i was 7. I dont know why. I self harmed until about 3 years ago when my mother found out and cried- she was really angry and so i stopped.

    I have so much to say. so many problems i just dont know where to start.

    I do know that ive had it. I really cant do this anymore- im trying so hard to please everyone, and now i keep failing. I havent being studying for my exams, and i have another one tomorrow. My parents are really mad because you need a A- average to get into law. I've failed stats and am only getting bare Bs.

    I use to do well. But i cant. Even when i did bad I would try, but i just cant anymore. I dont want too. I just want to sleep and stay in my bed. I really as over dramatic as it sounds want it to stop.

    But i cant. because im scared. Im scared of the pain that will come physically. Im scared of what it would do to the family i hate but love because they are all i have got. Im scared because what if i dont succeed?

    I want help. I've told my parents but they deny it- they say im labeling myself, that i want to be "sick".

    I cant ask anyone else. It would just be too embarrassing and no one will understand. I dont want to be judged.

    I just want help. I need to get over this, because I dont know how much longer the fear will outwigh the pain.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I wish you would reconsider speaking to someone...maybe a family physician or revisiting it with your parents so they know how serious it is...you are not labeling yourself...you are in pain and you want help...that sounds rather logical and brave to me...here you will not be judged negatively for expressing how you feel...many of us are either feeling that way or have felt that way...please continue to post and let us know what is going on
  3. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    i know parents do this to their kids. but hey, i whose to blame them seeing they love their kids so much and this is the only way they know how to secure a good future for us. so, just forgive them.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Talk hun to a councillor at your school NOW ok get the support you need The school have councillors for that purpose
    If thereis a doctor at your school talk and get on some meds to help you be motivated hun to take away the anxiety and the depression hugs
  5. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    I can empathise with you. my parents have never pushed me into careers but i always used to excell in school and now, well i just dont :( but i can only agree with everything else that has been said- speak to a professional.

    i was worried at first but they are trained to understand and however loving your parents are they cant always understand what your needing. if you want to keep it out of school like i did, speak to a doctor or health worker. anyone just to direct you to the right people who can help- and everyone needs help ocationally.

    take care

    can i ask what country are you in?
  6. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    Maybe accept your own limits , so maybe you canĀ“t do more then a B , sounds silly but it is beter to be a B , then going for A that is overburned.
    In the end a happy B does more then a stressed out A .

    That is something life and yourself tries to tell you , accepting failure or defeat is never really defeat or failure , if you can be happy with it.
    Sometimes goals , that you want are not realistic or not achievable , no matter how much effort and work you put into it .
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