I've had enough of it all

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Heavenly Star, Jul 29, 2009.

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  1. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member

    this past week has been hell. i have BPD and have been feeling so angry. on 3 occasions over the last week i have smashed up the shared house i live in, terrifying my housemates in the process, so much that yesterday she fled the house and called the police. I then got into an argument with my other housemate and started waving a knife around at her. I don't even realise what i am doing. i just 'zone out'. I've been hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there as well as being really paranoid about everything. My support workers no longer want anything to do with me because i'm getting so angry, at a time when i need more support than ever. I realise i need help but no one will help me. they just turn their backs on me because things are difficult and not going the way they want it to. How can i get better when people won't help me?

    So now my latest plan is to set the house on fire. i'll wait until my housemates are out then with me in it i will burn the place down. I even went out this morning and bought the matches and lighter fluid. nobody will care.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    NOt wise you will be homeless then and in jail. One way to get help is call 911 and tell them you are going to do what you say here and that you want to kill yourself they will take you to a hospital where you will get the hellp you need. You will get on proper meds for your anger and self harming. You are frightening people who haven't got a clue what is going on here. Please call 911 and get yourself some help you deserve.
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi there ..

    sounds like uv had a rough week.. :hug:
    r u on any medication 4 BPD?
    have u tried calling the samaritans? or a crisis line .. they wont judge u ..
    u could go 2 the hospital .. they will help u .. if u tell them how u have been feeling they wont turn u away ..
    mabye write it down if u feel u cant say it .. and show them ..
    please stay safe x
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree you need to get help, so call 911 and tell them what you are going to do and that you are seriously suicidal..They will admit you to keep you safe..They do have meds for anger.. There was a guy in the hospital with me and he stabbed his younger brother..They got his anger under control and then he had to go to court for the stabbing.. I don't know what happened after that..Before you do something that rash you need to get the help.. It sounds like you are skyzophrenic..They put me on skyzo meds about four months ago because I was seeing things and they have helped..The only thing I still see is flashes across in front of me, but they have gotten better..I only see them everynow and then.. Please call 911 and get the help...
  5. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    As a matter of interest how do you feel that burning down the house will help? Is it trying to get people to help you, because if so there are much better and less dangerous ways to go about it. I don't know if your house is detached but what if it spread and hurt someone, or a fire fighter got hurt... how would that make things better, with guilt on top of everything else? I think you should get an emergency appointment with your gp and explain how bad things are. If you want to go to hospital then ask, and explain that you cannot guarantee your or others' safety. That should do it.
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