this past week has been hell. i have BPD and have been feeling so angry. on 3 occasions over the last week i have smashed up the shared house i live in, terrifying my housemates in the process, so much that yesterday she fled the house and called the police. I then got into an argument with my other housemate and started waving a knife around at her. I don't even realise what i am doing. i just 'zone out'. I've been hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there as well as being really paranoid about everything. My support workers no longer want anything to do with me because i'm getting so angry, at a time when i need more support than ever. I realise i need help but no one will help me. they just turn their backs on me because things are difficult and not going the way they want it to. How can i get better when people won't help me? So now my latest plan is to set the house on fire. i'll wait until my housemates are out then with me in it i will burn the place down. I even went out this morning and bought the matches and lighter fluid. nobody will care.