I've had enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MaskdeMasque, Feb 7, 2014.

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  1. MaskdeMasque

    MaskdeMasque New Member

    My problems will probably sound petty to most of you but it impacts me greatly. A little about me first, i'm 22 years old and have mild autism which doesn't really affect me that bad from the outside, if you met me you'd think i was completely normal but deep down is this pain that doesn't seem to end. When i was 15/16, like most teenagers i had a few spots, nothing serious at all but i was obsessed with it, i'd be self conscious about it, so i got some spot cream, which i shoudlnt have looking back now and since ive used it my skin began to try up and it looks a little red. visibly its not that bad but i have this annoying pressure/tight feeling in my forehead and chin all the time. I've tried various mosteriusers and creams to help it but it doesnt really work. Most people seem to think its not that bad and because i was very obbsesional as a child and still am now they think i must be overexaggreating, i try not to think about it but its hard not to when its always there. It torments me, for a while i removed all mirrors from my house and hid away in my room and began living in the past watching old cartoons and playing games i used to play as a child. I went borderline crazy. My life is somewhat getting back on track, i'm going back to college in september but theres a part of me that wonders if this feeling in my head will ever go and i keep thinking about what if i didnt use it and my face wouldn't have changed. I'm going back to the doctors on monday to try and get it sorted once and for all but i don't think it will ever be fixed and that i'll have this forever and it really irrates me. I think of just ending it all so i wouldn't have to think about it anymore.
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Not petty at all MaskdeMasque - I feel my issues are petty too compared to some on here (There's one guy who's quadriplegic for example) so compared to him I feel my issues are nothing, but really we are all suffering the same in varying degrees - So MM don't feel embarrassed posting your feelings on here - after all that's what this forum is for
    tc feller
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. please do not think that your problems are petty. Because they are not. for example, look at the website you are posting on. This is not a forum that people who have petty problems are drawn to. right? I know people who have much worse stuff going on than I. But my stuff makes it hard for me to live in the world. So it is not petty. Right? And your challenges do not sound petty either. :hug:

    I am glad you are going to the doctor. Thats a great first step. Are you working with a therapist? Because if thats something you would be interested in, then you really deserve that help. You said you were very obsessional as a child. Perhaps thats something that has layers. So sometimes it might be right to work with a therapist or someone on another layer of it. Thats so often how these things work. I do not know how it is for you of course. I hope you will keep posting. :hug:
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