Hello..just a small intro, first. I am 32 years old..I have two children, and I have been married before. Happily..though you wouldn't know it now. I have had panic disorder, depression, agoraphobia and OCD (pure O) all of my life. For a good three years I was housebound. I don't know how to write this clearly, as my mind is a jumble and I am a strange mix of angry and tearful as I am trying to convey what I want to say. I am not a bad person. I have done bad things. I have stolen to ease my anxiety (something else about me, please don't judge). When my ex husband decided that I was , as he said, "no longer fun" he left me for a 20 year old girl in the next state over. He now has taken me to court for custody of my son..which he will probably win because he had an attorney and I did not. Kind of hard to hire someone when you can't manage to find a job. (not for lack of trying..freaking job market here is crap) My heart is broken. I really cannot see any way out of this heartache, misery..all of that. I have always heard people say that they have no where else to turn but to suicide, and I have felt that many times lately. I cry, scream, beg and try to just be angry or be at least able to see a way FORWARD..and I just can't. I miss my kids. I miss my old life. I am so so lonely. So sad. Anyone else ever gone through these things?