I've hit my limit. What should I do?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by CK17, May 12, 2009.

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  1. CK17

    CK17 Guest

    I've recently had to confront a couple of radically life changing realizations about myself. The first came in early February and I only narrowly avoided attempting suicide then. I managed to maintain for the most part until today... About three days ago I seemingly spontaneously put the pieces of the puzzle together and made another frightening discovery about myself. It answered a lot of questions and explained a lot of things in my life but it's bittersweet at best.

    I was doing all right considering my problem up until I had this recent epiphany. I cannot tell anybody I care for about either of these problems. I'm alone and I can't handle losing every shred of the identity I thought I had. I nearly broke down at school today and when I got home I tried to vent my frustrations in my journal. That's when I lost it, I've broken down, I can't friggin' take it anymore. There's no way to fix one of my problems (the other can be fixed, but it requires telling my family) and I don't know what to do. I'm too young to go get help myself, so getting help would involve telling my parents at least something and I really don't know if they could accept me if they knew everything. I keep getting nagging desires to just end it all whenever a spontaneous opportunity presents itself.

    I can't go on living like this, but I'm trapped and have no even slightly favorable options. What should I do?
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi CK17,
    It's possibly a little hard to answer without knowing what exactly the problems are I don't feel like I can really give that much advice on them as they could be something where there is a resolution that maybe you hadn't yet come to, or where there is no resolution at all and telling your parents or somebody close might be the best thing so you can get help and support. But I wouldn't feel right saying when I don't know what they are.

    All I will say is this, you have come to the right place and please don't end it all, it may not seem like it now but you have something to live for and seeking out help was the first step, and a very good one at that.
    I hope you can find some solace here like I have.

    Also remember you can see your Doctor in confidence without your parents finding out if you really feel you cannot tell them.
  3. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    This is my thread, I decided to register...

    They're sexuality and sexual identity issues, to be more specific.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I guessed that it might be but I wasn't too sure.

    Are your family religious or do you know if they have strong feelings towards sexuality?
    Because if there is one thing I have found (first hand) it is that sometimes what you think they will say/do and what they actually say/do are completely different.

    Do you have siblings or cousins, aunts or anybody that you trust and know they will be okay with it that you can talk it over with first before speaking to your parents?
  5. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    My family has a limit... pretty sure the two problems put me way past it.

    I have a good friend who knows about the older problem. He's helpful
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You did mention something about losing your identity also, I know it sounds difficult - if not a little cheesy - but maybe you aren't losing your identity at all. Maybe you are finally seeing who you really are and discovering the true person inside. It's a scary feeling but if you try and see it as a weight off your mind, like you don't have to lie to yourself anymore. You can be the real you and then try and think of a way to tell maybe just your Mum first, tell her how much it has been upsetting you first and explain to her that you are sure she doesn't want to lose you as much as you wouldn't want to lose her, so you hope she can love and accept you and help you through it - like a parent should.
    It might help to say all of this before you say the actual issue because it might prepare her better and help her realise what is at stake by her rejecting you for it.

    Have you tried counselling or group therapy as well?
    I'm sure you aren't alone in your issue and I've found group therapy really helpful, sitting down with others who have been in a similar situation and discovering how they came to terms with it and explained it to their families also.

    Also remember to take your time with this situation, having just discovered it means you have to come to terms with it first and that is a difficult road. You're still beating yourself up and you shouldn't be. Whatever it is, we're all human and we all deserve to be treated equally, no matter what.
    Talk things over with the older friend, maybe he can help you with what you're feeling right now. And just take your time with it all.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2009
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