This man was not perfect and mistakes he has made more than i care to count yet the last years of his life he has spent them in repairing the ill done and get closer to those he has abandoned and given up on. He has succeeded and has regain respect for himself and from others and will be greatly missed. Why of this post? He is one of the few who has accepted me as I am, handicap, invalidated physically and mentally, a foreigner in his land he had open wide his arms to welcome me when i arrived. I am a no land person but he and a very few people gave me a sense of belonging and slowly helped me to make some roots here. This country in its realy is divided in two, north and south and racial is on from ages to and from. I owe him alot. My pain is not such for his death as his suffering had reached its peack and morphine was not helping no more. My pain is for his only child, his son that remain fatherless and a mother that is absent as a mother to him. He is a son to me and due to health and distance i cant be there to comfort him and cant assist to the funeral as such which further my discomfort. To be honest i feel like i've let him down when he needs me the most ad dont know what to do. i dont know when i will be able to go and see him and it is not the best time to make calls to talk to him since funeral is today. I feel lonely and isolated and so far when those few i love and care about and care and love e truely need me. i feel like a piece of shit even thogh i know he understand my circumstances it doesnt ease that feeling of being a total failure. may he rest at peace and i hope he has reached his mother awaiting him at the door of heaven.