I've lost all hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LilBoPeep, Dec 8, 2013.

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  1. LilBoPeep

    LilBoPeep Member

    Hi, I'm new here I'm 22 and have honestly lost the desire to live anymore. My life is meaningless I have nothing to live for. I no longer want to live. At 17 I attempted suicide but unfortunately it didn't work. I see no future for myself anymore. I came across this site while looking up ways to kill myself that aren't painful because I'm such a coward i don't want it to hurt. At 22 my life is no where near what I expected it to be. I just want out. Why should I have to suffer the burden of making myself miserable anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are 22 hun you have so much time to find a purpose hun go volunteer help children help in a nursing home help at an animal shelter all these things have purpose ok in time you will find your place talk to someone ok talk to a councilor at your school who will also guide you to support so you don't feel so alone Hope is there but depression is hiding it from you it is always there hun
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel so much despair. You are still very young and there is a world of opportunity out there. It seems like you might need to be on antidepressants to help you look at life in a more positive way. I know sometimes you think suicide is the only option, but from experience, it's my mind playing tricks on me and I act out by trying to kill myself. Nobody knows how their lives will turn out because anything can change that can turn their lives upside down. Give yourself a chance to make it in this world. It's not easy, but with a little help from the members here, maybe you will change your mind about ending your life.
     
  4. LilBoPeep

    LilBoPeep Member

    Thank you for replying. The thing is at 22 I feel like it's too late to start over. I feel like I've wasted my life and I can't turn it around. I know I'm depressed. I deal with my depression by sleeping all day. It's the only time I feel nothing. I have no desire to to anything anymore and I just feel like I would be better off if I wasn't here.
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Are you getting any professional help with the depression like counseling and meds? 22 is not too late to start anything - though you might be old enough to make good decisions now instead of wasting years trying to look for something which is all 99% of the people your age have done so you are exactly where most people your age are.

    If you have spent the last 5 years depressed since an attempt at 17 you cannot expect to turn everything around in a week or two after 5 years - but you can start to make small changes and gain direction and perspective. Happy to talk about what is going on in your life with you if you want to talk more. :hug:
     
  6. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    hello,

    first of all... i agree with nyj, 22 is not too late to turn your life in a diff direction .. i mean, some ppl dont even get going in the right direction til age 30 or later. you need to talk to both a psychiatrist (for meds) and a counselor (to deal with the issues surrounding your depression as well as learn different coping skills and relaxation techniques). you have a lot of potential in you yet, don't give up!
     
  7. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    We attempted suicide at the same age and our stories are essentially the same. Wow.
     
  8. LilBoPeep

    LilBoPeep Member

    I just don't see any hope. I don't know how to turn it around if I tried. I hurt everyone around me or I do stupid things that I regret later. I constantly feel like a screw up and I just want the pain to go away.
     
  9. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    LilBoPeep, you may always learn from your mistakes and make amends to people you've hurt. I know it is hard to change things around after you've hurt people, but that doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself too. People move on and may forgive you, but you need to forgive yourself. A lot of people screw up but that doesn't mean it can't be changed. Yes, it may be painful to know that you've done stupid things but that doesn't mean you are stupid. You are only human and can't be perfect all the time. Don't be so hard on yourself. Life will go on, even though it may be difficult to face when you're full of regrets. Give yourself a break by admitting to your mistakes and learn from them and if needed, make amends when you can. At least you've tried and then it's up to the other people to accept it or not, but it's up to them. The ball will be on their courts and release yourself from the pain and guilt that you feel. Remember, we all do things we regret, so don't be so hard on yourself. I sound redundant but I think you get the point. Take care, ok?
     
  10. silentlyfading

    silentlyfading Well-Known Member

    I agree with the above 22 its no way to late to start over. Needing purpose is the key along with meds and treatment. Ive read your other posts it seems like you do things like txt ur ex just because you have too much time to think. Boredom mixed with depression causes you to do things you wouldn't normally do. Get the help you need. You really will benefit from it.
     
  11. LilBoPeep

    LilBoPeep Member

    Where do I start? I come from a family that looks down upon anyone they consider "crazy" and I've always felt like the black sheep(no pun intended) and every time I try to discuss my problems they just give me a look that really hurts. I'm afraid if I do get help I'll find out that there's probably a lot of other things wrong with me.
     
  12. silentlyfading

    silentlyfading Well-Known Member

    You have already started by reaching out so well done :). Depression is hard to understand unless you are a sufferer. You family may not understand the extent of you emotions. Next step is seek advice fro a dr or psych take you parents with you so they can get a bit more info and see that it is an actual illness. Finding that there is other things wrong is not a bad thing. Because once you know they can be treated. Take that step we are all here for you.
     
  13. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    If you do get help, you may work out with your family with family therapy. Also, you'll learn coping skills and positive thinking that will help you look at your life in a more positive perspective. Conflict resolution is helpful and your problems will seem less overwhelming and you will learn to heal from your hurting. Getting help would only make things better.
     
  14. LilBoPeep

    LilBoPeep Member

    I'm just tired of feeling like a major burden and screw up. Nothing ever goes the way I want it to and I just know that even getting help will be so complicated. I feel like I was a mistake and that I shouldn't have been born. I've never known what I wanted to do with my life and I honestly see no future. My family is very close minded. Talking things out are not options. It's pretty much bottle your feelings up and never speak about them. I've always been the most emotional one in my family and they look at me like I'm weak.T hey don't take me seriously and treat me like a child. Or they treat me like I don't even exist.
     
  15. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    You're looking at yourself like the cup is half empty instead of half full. Also, your thoughts are like a tunnel vision, where there's no other way you can see yourself. You blame yourself for everything when really not everything is your fault. You don't see anything positive of yourself and carry a burden that you're responsible for all the things that you've done is wrong. Please be kind to yourself and know we all make mistakes, but we can learn from them and forgive yourself for you're only human. We're not perfect. Know that there's always a second chance in life when you think nothing can be changed. Just trying to make you see that you are punishing yourself when you have such negative thoughts that you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. These are distorted thinking and can really bring you down to a point that your thoughts are irrational and not necessarily true. If you get some counseling, that's what they'll teach you. To think more positively and that can enhance your life and not be so hopeless. We care when you're not feeling good and just hope the best for you. Take care!
     
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