My life has always been a train wreck: Age 6- The root of all problems, this is when it all started. From elementary to high school, I was constantly bullied and brought down by my classmates, never had any friends and girls always looked at me with disgust, like I was some creepy monster. This had its effect on self-esteem and outlook on life. Age 12- Made one friend, who was also like me, we had a wonderful friendship, even though we were constantly being bullied, even girls(who are normally more sensitive to this matters) bullied me. Age 16- Made some decent friends, also had a good time with them, even though they were only good for partying and stuff. Ended up becoming my enemies and wishing me hell. age 18- Entered college, lost my friend because he started dating, watched as all my high-school friends surpassed me in every way possible. Age 19- After changing majors, I no longer see my friends from the previous course, and I'm now stuck with people I don't really appreciate. Yesterday I finally realized how much of a fucking failure I am: no friends, too terrible to make my dreams of having an unconventional career come true, girls run away from me like I'm an axe murderer, how no one never loved me and how, even though I have the biggest and warmest heart on the planet(accompanied with good looks), no one can see through my shy and introverted outside and, as a consequence, no one will ever love me, no one will ever have an interest in me. Absolutely no one knows about this, no not even my parents(since they're too stupid to understand it), I'm keeping my grades high and a smile on my face. I'm tired of living in this fucking world, I just can't stand looking at my future when all I see is disgrace, misery, loneliness and mediocrity. I feel like a time bomb, tick tick ticking... Someday there's going to be a boom, and my existence will come to an end. I've lost all hope.