Ive been so down, ive done nothing but cry and piss myself off all day. i started cutting again a few weeks ago. and every day theyve got deeper and deeper. then there was tonight, i cut so deep i was realy scared, at first i found comfort in the fact that it was bleeding so much. but then it wouldnt stop, 10 mins later its still bleeding, 20mins its still bleeding, 30, 45, 60. my cuts were realy bleeding, i was so scared. i bandaged them real tight but they wouldnt stop. i concidered calling an ambulance, i was really dizzy and felt sick. the room was spinning. i added another bandage. after a while i i must have passed out or fell asleep im not sure. but i remember thinking before i fell asleep that i didnt mind if i never woke up again. every day i put on a brave face to everyone, acting like everthing is ok. it isnt ok. im lonely really lonely. i havent got anyone, i broke up with my boyfriend, my mum ignores me and hates me. my dad isnt allowed to speak to me and when he does its breif and on the sly. my nan has moved away, my grandad resently passed away. my brother is in prison. my sister lives realy far away. i havent got any one. i feel like its my fault that they dont love me. and it makes me angry at myself, i can feel myself getting angrier and angrier every day. i just feel so lost at the moment, i feel like im loosing control of my life.