Gianna was my beautiful, caring, thoughtful, loving daughter, 35 yrs. old, that suffered from depression and possibly bipolar. 10/06 Gianna finally, bravely, leaves Tony and an abusive relationship, Yeah! Gianna is struggling really hard, she drinks heavily....how can we help her? 11/06 Thanksgiving eve....Gianna drinks heavily, I'm afraid she takes more of her meds, an overdose....she wants to know why she has to be here (living) if she doesn't want to be. We call 911. She goes to hospital, they keep her overnight. She comes home Thanksgiving day with the promise of going to counseling. Thanksgiving is solemn, but we're extremely grateful that Gianna is okay. Gianna goes for counseling and is diagnosed as an alcholic and told she has clinical depression. Gianna signs up for college classes and works really, really hard at getting a job. She has some setbacks, but all in all is doing better. She studies really hard and her spirits start to pick up a bit. 12/06 Christmas is Gianna's favorite holiday so she's having a rough time without Tony. She struggles on. She doesn't want to celebrate Christmas, nor does she want to decorate. Towards mid December, she starts to decorate a little and fixes her place up beautifully. She joins us for Christmas dinner, but ends up drinking heavily towards the end of the night. Her pain (mental) is heartbreaking to watch. 01/07 January goes pretty good, Gianna is working a lot and studying very hard for school. 02/07 More of the same this month, except for one life changing event. Gianna is starting to feel stronger, meds are working for the most part, she's not drinking, so she makes reservations to go visit her brother in Florida, she wants to spend time with him, time she missed while living in Florida. due to her relationship with Tony. 03/08/07 Gianna leaves for Florida, we take her to the airport. We tell her we're concerned in case she see's Tony but she says don't worry, she feels stronger now. 03/10 Gianna goes for lunch with Tony. She calls me that night, she's been drinking. She says it hurts really bad to see him but realizes he's not the best thing for her. She is heartboken, it hurts so much to see her in so much pain. 03/12 Gianna sees Tony this night. Something takes place that I'm not going to write about here. Suffice to say she comes away from that night with a lot of pain, among other feelings, non of which are good. 03/15 We pick up Gianna at the airport, she seems okay, but very, very tired. We come home and she goes directly to bed. 03/16 It's snowing, the 1st heavy snow of the year! Gianna stays in and unpacks and does her usual things, unpacking, laundry, studying, etc. 03/17 Patricks birthday today! Gianna gets everything ready to go to work, she's in good spirits. She leaves early, 1:45, because she's afraid of icy patches, etc. 3:00 pm she called me, says they messed up the schedule for work so she's on the way home, do I need anything? 4:30 or so she came home bearing a gift, a beautiful, beautiful blue hydrangea plant....it's just gorgeous! I thank her profusely, of course, and tell her how much I love her. As the day passes, I notice she's drinking. She's starting to get sad, she goes outside over and over for a cigarette. At one point she stops me as I'm walking by to give me a hug and we cry together and she says " I love you, mom" I tell her I love her and to give it a little more time, another door will open for her. She is angry that she let Tony 'dupe' her once again. I tell her not to be so hard on herself, we've all been there, don't feel stupid. She goes downstairs. About 8:30 or so, we hear her come upstairs and go in the fridge. We realized later that she had had a glass of milk. Why, why, why, why didn't we speak to her, or her to us? 10:00 I peek downstairs to see if she's okay.....I see the light on and think she must be on her computer. 11:00 Ron goes to bed....15 minutes or so later I decide to go too. I turn off the TV and go to shut off the kitchen light. Wait! Let me check on Gianna one more time, oh oh, it's very quiet down there, let me go down there and check on her, she must have fallen asleep with the lights on. I walk down the stairs and see her futon is open, but she's not on it.....my eyes fly to the bathroom door, it's open and she's not there. Okay, maybe she's folding laundry, doing laundry seemed to be therapy for her. I looked around the corner inro the laundry room and my heart stopped, literally stopped. There was Gianna, my baby girl, <mod edit Hazel: method> .....Oh my God! No, no, no, NO!!!! I begin to yell for Ron, I scream and sceam, he can't hear me, he has headphones on. I wake him up and tell him what happened. He runs downstairs, yelling like a wounded animal, noooooooo Gianna, noooooooo. He holds my baby <mod edit Hazel: method > I rub her belly, it's still warm......please God, let her be alive, oh, please...........but she's not, she's gone, she's gone. From that day forward, life has been hell, pure hell.