I've made my decision.

[SashaJade]

Nothing will change it.

Ive decided how and when.

Ive written notes, and i'm preparing myself.

All plans will be finalised tomorrow.

 

[Monoka]

No, please don't, surround yourself with people, whatever it takes, but don't go.
think about the reasons you are still here- there has been something stopping you or making life livable, concentrate on those reasons.
don't hurt yourself.:please:

 

[the masked depressant]

tell us what's happened?

please don't do anything okay- talk to us

 

[Angie]

Sam :hug: . What has happened sweetie?

 

[SashaJade]

I've explained everything pretty much in previous posts if you have seen any of them. I've reached the end of my teather. I've been feeling like this for 13 days in a row. I'm screaming inside to escape. I'm planned. Thats it.

 

[MLKane]

Sam, don't give in. This down period will pass. It may be dark now, but there will come a day when you are happy with your life, just give that day a chance to come. I know it's hard, it might be hard for a while, but keep going. You seemed so strong when I first spoke to you, and you still have that strength. Just go to a hospital. Go to a clinic, go to a police station, hell go to job centre. Go somewhere, anywhere, and speak to someone. Make them listen, tell your story in your words. Make them understand. You don't have to die, you can do so much more with your life. Please, keep talking, keep fighting, keep living. :hug:

 

[SashaJade]

Ive been sat here thinking... Something kicked in my head to fight. I want to die cos things are hard, but people can get through hard things. Its possible.

Im just beginning to think what effect this would have on my family. On my nephews. Fucking hell id hurt so many people. I don't want to hurt people... I don't want some to have to explain to a 2 and a 7 year old that their auntie sasha has gone... That they won't see her anymore. i have to hang on for these boys... They need me.

Im going to my cpn tomorrow and tell her im planning on attempting... That I know what id do and when id do it. That I need help to get past this. It is likely to lead to me going in patient for a while... But surely its worth it to try and fight... To try and save myself, to try not to hurt those I love so much.

I wanna see them grow up, hell I want my own kids. But this battle is so hard. I need the in patient system to help me.

 

[lightbeam]

There would be so many that would hurt if you left, Sam. Please fight this thing.

:hug:

 

[Monoka]

im glad you'v come to this decision, thinking about others at times of crisis is difficult, shame your nephus will never know the pain you are going through so you can be there for them. proud of you
:hug:

 

[marmite]

Well done for making the decision to stay around for your nephews.my niece told me a couple of years ago that she would really miss me if I died she has since graduated and become a teacher such a joy to see her and my lovely nephews growing up.The fight is worth it to keep going.best wishes.