It sounds incredibly hard to live with someone like her.
That's my biggest worry to leaving. My kids.
Many people have been in abusive relationships, and many of the issues are the same. Worrying about what might happen to children is a common issue. Because so many people have been in similar situations, good ways to deal with this are generally known.
What I've written below is intended to help in forming a step-wise plan. If you don't want that, or don't feel ready for that, it's ok to ignore it.
I hope something can help.
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This link has a list of documents about domestic violence and abuse
https://www.hotpeachpages.net/lang/index.html#English
www.hotpeachpages.net also has a list of contact information for domestic violence and abuse organizations that might be able to get you in touch with a DV counselor.
So in terms of a step-wise plan, you might
1. Learn more about domestic violence and abuse
2. Try to get in touch with a DV counselor and discuss what's going on
3. Find a good divorce lawyer and have a confidential discussion about what's going on
None of those steps would require you to make a commitment to taking any particular action. It's ok to just talk about those things.
If you did decide that you wanted to take action, a lawyer might be able to advise you about gathering evidence of abuse.
If you've got some evidence to back you, and your kids would also back up your version of what's going on, you may simply be able to leave for Colorado with your kids (I don't know the details of the law, so a lawyer would have to advise you on that part).
A lawyer could present her with an out-of-court settlement. For example, you get to leave with the kids, and there is some form of mutually acceptable financial arrangement. You wouldn't even have to be legally divorced in order to live apart.
If she agrees to the settlement, you could agree to try to prevent it from being an election issue. Maybe she could have some form of supervised visitation with the kids.
I don't know if it would all work out as well as I imagine it would, but that's at least a plausible outcome.
Someone who understands obsessive-compulsive disorder might be able to help give some advice about how to handle things.