I've made the decision, death is my answer

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DannyBoy, Oct 4, 2010.

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  1. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    I don't have any long drawn out speech. Just that I've decided to commit suicide. I'm not sure when I'm going to do it, but it will be soon, next month most likely.

    I've gone for all the help I can, psychiatrists, therapists, etc....

    They can't help me. I'm going to see my pdoc tommorrow for one last chance at meds. But I'm not holding out too much hope for it.

    Hopefully some of you will understand.
  2. Alonewanderer

    Alonewanderer Active Member

    Man I was heavily contemplating suicide, even came up with a new method but then somebody killed themself at work <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. No idea why but now I'm not so focused on my own demise. I feel 20% better so I'll see how the week goes.
  3. shuddertothink

    shuddertothink Well-Known Member

    Oh i understand perfectly. And i know that when you have made up your mind, nothing that anyone says is going to make a difference. I really do know how you feel. I'm not going to try and talk you out of it, because i know it won't make a difference, but i would like you to know,that if ever you want to talk, about ANYTHING, even just to shoot the shit, i'll listen. I know i don't know you too well, we've only spoken a couple times, but i like you. We do have some stuff in commom.

    If you have really made the decision, i'll be here for you if you need someone. just send me message and let me know. Even if you need a phone conversation, anything. See i am where you are right now, mentally. So perhap it may help to talk? i dunno.

    so yeah if you want to talk let me know. If not that's ok too. But i will be hereif you need someone. take care.
  4. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    I understand completely, suicidal myself. Just remember is it what you want you only have one option yes or no.
  5. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    oops there is that one option of, ohh I changed me mind, son of a bitch now I got to call fer help, damnit. that one always blows. but you do what you have to. Emergency personal are pretty cool. plus you get to ride in a ambulance, lights blazing.
  6. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel, im exactly the same.
    The only difference is that you are stronger than me, you sought out help.
    Whether it is my anxiety around people or just my stubborness im doing this alone.
    I know i cant talk you out of this but i hope you change your mind and continue seeking the help you deserve.
    Iv never been on meds but iv seen a lot of people say they can take up to 6 weeks to start working so please give them a chance to work
    Thinking of you
    Take care
  7. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    I see my life and how it is realistically. I try to think positively but depression is always following me now. Without it nobody would do anything so it makes sense we have it.

    It's just I have no idea how to cure myself of this depression. And the meds i take don't seem to be helping much anymore.

    I'm attempting to be more positive for the first time in my life. We'll see how that goes, but as it stands now I'm prepared to end things.
  8. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    I have a suggestion. I try to challenge my thoughts. Whenever a thought puts me down. I challenge it. I do the opposite. If I am afraid, and a thought tells me to look down, I do the opposite by looking up. You have to challenge these thoughts that brings you down.
  9. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I just don't have anything to challenge the thoughts with. Sometimes the thoughts are true and right.
  10. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    I tonight was going to overdose, then opened my door, I do not know what it was but felt like relief. I do not know how long this feeling will last, but it was something, refreshing, new.

    just saying feel for the small things in life.
  11. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    I still may overdose but I did have that rush of life, I want more.
  12. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    I hope this good feeling lasts forever. Do opposite of what the negative thoughts tells you. Overcome.
  13. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    It's nice to feel alive once in awhile, I don't feel it anymore though.
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Danny. I don't fully understand what you're going through, because I haven't been in the position where taking my life seems like a viable option, but it must be awful living life with the cloud of depression hanging over you like a dark shadow. There must still be a few things in your life that are worth living for? Do you have family that would miss you if you were gone? Is there anything that you would still like to experience before you go? Stick around for a little while longer and see if things improve. :hug:
  15. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    It's basically like I've lost all pleasure and zest for life. Nothing does anything for me anymore. I feel restless all the time and don't have much to do with myself.

    I have lots of people that'll be effected by my death but I can't keep living in such pain.
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