I grew up knowing it two things. 1) that I had to be of use for my life to have purpose. 2) that serving my country was purposeful and useful. About 3 months ago I was Medically Discharged owing to my mental health. Now I am unemployed and feel unemployable.
To add to the burden I place on my family, I cannot get on with people. I'm estranged from much of my immediate family; I couldn't keep on being criticized or judged for things I either had or had not done. Fed up with managing relationships that were all one way. Then at Christmas I exploded at my wife's family when her sister and brothers in law openly mocked me. And now my wife has said she cannot cope with me anymore.
I've never had many friends. Many of those I feel close to are thousands of miles away. The people I am closest to I feel most distant from. I am without any utility and am struggling to find reasons to keep going. The only two I have are my little boys. But at what point do I become detrimental to their future and well-being? Surely it's better that I go sooner rather than later to reduce impact on them?
If I stay I will only bring hurt and pain. If I go...well at least it might only be fleeting. Give everyone the chance of a better world. Because all I touch I pollute. I cannot live with people.
To add to the burden I place on my family, I cannot get on with people. I'm estranged from much of my immediate family; I couldn't keep on being criticized or judged for things I either had or had not done. Fed up with managing relationships that were all one way. Then at Christmas I exploded at my wife's family when her sister and brothers in law openly mocked me. And now my wife has said she cannot cope with me anymore.
I've never had many friends. Many of those I feel close to are thousands of miles away. The people I am closest to I feel most distant from. I am without any utility and am struggling to find reasons to keep going. The only two I have are my little boys. But at what point do I become detrimental to their future and well-being? Surely it's better that I go sooner rather than later to reduce impact on them?
If I stay I will only bring hurt and pain. If I go...well at least it might only be fleeting. Give everyone the chance of a better world. Because all I touch I pollute. I cannot live with people.