i've never been thisfar in (triggering?)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by names_stink, Oct 12, 2013.

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  1. names_stink

    names_stink Member

    I almost did it. Almost. I don'tremember if methods can get one int rouble here, so i'll avoid mentioning what I did. I do feel a little light headed and my hands aren't working right. Circulation, i think. I don't know. I'm so close to finishing. My mind is dging mental gymnastics right now. Trying to convince myself that I should. That I have no choice but to do so. And at the same time, I'm scared. I'm so scared. I feel sick to my stomach. Idon't know what to do. I have a plan this time. And this was the only place i coud think of. I used to be a member here. But I don't remember my information. I haven't been on in a long time. Not because the feelings went away, but because i got scared because they got worse. I don't know how much more i can take. I'm sick of being lonely. I'm sick of being poor. I can't even afford the mood stabilizers that might make me feel better. I have no friends left. None at all. I don't know where else to turn. all i want are reasons. reasons to go on. but i can't find them. i can't find them anymore. and right now, my hands hurt and my hear thurts, and my mind hurts, and i hrt. i'm shaking and idk if it's from what i did, fromthe cold, or form fear. i can't take it anymore. please.someone tell me. someone tell me it gets better. becuase i don't believe it anymore.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: It CAN get better. I'm glad you came back here... not because I want you to feel bad, but because you shouldn't have to go through it alone. Here if you want to talk.
     
  3. names_stink

    names_stink Member

    Thank you for the reply. I was hoping I'd feel better today, but I don't. And because of what I did last night, I feel ill on top of it all. :( I want to call my doc so badly, but I have no phone. And it's just nerve wracking asking someone if I can borrow one. Right now, I'd like to tall. I'm at a point where I just want to know other people are out there.

    Also, please forgive the grammar/spelling issues. I was not in a good spot last night. :(
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2013
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you can go into emergency of hospital ok and talk to someone there let them know what you have done and get some help ok. YOU are not alone now ok you keep talking to us but you also get help in real life
     
  5. names_stink

    names_stink Member

    I've been afraid to, but I think I might have to. :( I often feel like I'm alone. It helps sometimes hearing that you're not.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you do hun i hope you do reach out for support you deserve ok they will talk to you there and helpyou You can always talk to us here to but you keep safe ok hugs
     
  7. names_stink

    names_stink Member

    Thank you. I just wanted to post to let you both know that I'm doing okay.
     
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