I've never done anything like this

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by O.Kate, Nov 19, 2014.

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  1. O.Kate

    O.Kate New Member

    I'm not really sure why I'm even doing this or what I expect from it. Not that I'm particularly sure of anything really. Yesterday marked exactly 1 year since my first attempt (I'm only on two now but I'd would imagine they'll be a third at this rate). The second attempt was only a couple of weeks ago when I spent a couple of nights in hospital. I'm not sure what I expected to change but everything pretty much just went back to normal and I can't help but feel, I don't know..disappointed I guess. It feels really selfish saying that though. I guess now it's been 1 year I've just been looking at everything and asking how far I've come since then. And so far I've just gotten worse. I'm trying my third anti-depressant right now but I can't imagine it, or anything else, making any difference and at this point I'm just so tired and I feel so guilty all the time, just for existing I guess. I feel like I've gotten myself so deep into this hole and I've left it so long without even admitting I was in a hole that there's no longer any other way of getting out of it. I don't know I guess I'm just exhausted of dragging myself around like this and I'm completely disillusioned with medication and counselling and I'm not really what that leaves but I feel like I'm pretty much just going to have to drag myself out of this on my own but I just don't have the strength.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are important and I so sorry to hear that you are in a state. The important thing is that you are alive and well. In life we strive to be strong. You are strong in that you survived. Yes, life is tough but you will get through it on a day by day basis. Keep posting as we can help you get through this tough time.
  3. Wild Citizen

    Wild Citizen New Member

    There is always a way out. don't hurry to check out. We all will one day. You said you don't have strength to do it, in reality the strength is whats keeping you of Not doing this. that means you still love life. Leave the thoughts of taking your life. believe me escape is Not a solution. I would really like to listen to you please write what is the story behind all this? or pm me. remember until you hold breath, your destiny is in your hands, we just sometimes need somebody to point us to the right direction.
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Hello Kate and welcome to the forum. :)
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