I've never had a girlfriend and im 26

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sosotired, Jan 5, 2007.

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  1. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    Never had a girlfriend and im 26
    I dont approach them
    they dont approach me
    Is it because im ugly?
    Is it because im shy?
    Is it because I have the personality of a deranged fly?
    I dont know how to write poems
    but this is supposed to be one
    because im desperate for a girlfriend
    and I dont even know why
    girls have called me ugly
    girls have called me weird
    and it just ate away at my low self esteem
    im a fucking loser
    and thats the way it will always be
    no one will ever want me
    because im so fucked up mentally.
     
  2. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    I'm 25, in the same situation.
     
  3. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    maybe its because they dont see who you are... and not having a girlfriend isnt that bad...

    if anything... those things take time... maybe you havent met the right now...
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well if it is any consolation, I am on that path myself.

    I do not know what you are looking for as an answer here. But I have talked to a friend and many females online. And most of them say that a simple smile and "Hi" or "Hello" is enough.

    I myself do not approach females because I am A) Scared too B) Think that it is crap that I have too C) Never go out. However, these are all things that I do and should correct, in some way.

    Really I do not know what to say. I could say the stuff everyone else will tell you "Just be patient you will meet the right girl some day" or "There is someone out there for everyone". Both of which are discouraging, especially coming from people in relationships. I know how discouraging it is to have to wait, even if I am only 21. So say what I say "I have waited 9 years so far what is another 9 or 20 or 40?". Maybe if you go out and at least be seen and try to appear friendly you might just find someone.

    Anyway I hope you find someone, like myself. Just remember what people tell me to remember "Love Happens it is not something you can find".
     
  5. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I havent had a girlfriend in a long time...and, well, im not gonna lie to you...it kills me every single day...Its all my own fault of course, but that doesnt make it any easier to swallow.
     
  6. odl

    odl New Member

    Same boat as the rest of you but im only 19


    What I find painful is when I have to listen to one of my friends go on because they have been single for more than 3 months or because they have just had a breakup and all i want to do is scream at them.
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Oh god that is annoying.
     
  8. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    The fact that I'm 22 and am still a virgin is one of my triggers. It doesnt matter i had a girlfriend. Doesnt matter i had the chance for sex. It all doesn't matter becasue if your still virgin you get labeled as a loser..and that word hurts my soul
     
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ummm well not as much really. That is more of a high school thing, or it has been my experience. Just when you hit the older ages people look at you confused and with pity when you say you are a virgin.

    Take heart though, there is more to life than sex. And I am right there with you.
     
  10. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    Being a virgin at the age of 26 doesn't really get me down, its not having had a girlfriend that grates on me.
     
  11. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know this sounds trite and cliched, but you may not have met the right girl yet. I know that's little consolation when you're lonely, but there are a lot of empty-headed females out there who would, in my estimation, be worse than no girlfriend at all. Do you belong to any groups or volunteer organizations? That's another way to meet nice girls, as people who volunteer their time and energy for others are usually pretty nice people. Check out the opportunities for volunteering in your area. Homeless shelters, soup kitchens, humane society, etc. Not only will that give you something good to do with your time, you'll feel better about yourself from giving unto others, and you may even meet someone worth your time and energy. It's worth a try...:smile:

    least
     
  12. Kalak

    Kalak Member

    Same here, and I'm 25.

    I don't really mind never having had sex (Solian destroyed my sex drive anyway)
    I don't really mind never having had a girlfriend, since I usually prefer to be on my own, and most people I now know probably assume I have had relationships before.

    But what I really miss is the lack of physical contact. I just want to touch someone :(
     
  13. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    This might sound silly, but... I haven't had a "physical relationship" since my ex-bf and I broke up in '98. I substitute my need for hugs and touching by being affectionate with my companion animals... nothing obscene or disgusting, I mean I hold them a lot and pet them a lot and give them all the affection I would give to a person, only I give my love to my animals. I sometimes miss having a person next to me at night, someone to hug me and love me, but I really don't mind being alone... and my little beagle sleeps right next to me at night so I'm not really sleeping 'alone'... and I lavish affection on my animals so that they're all extremely tame and loving. It works for me... and they'll never abandon me or cheat on me or treat me badly... and they love me unconditionally, unlike most people.

    I really don't mind living alone, as I'm used to it, but couldn't live without my animals!!:smile:

    least
     
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yup animals do make good snuggle partners. I know I shower my kitty with hugs and pets when I am home.
     
  15. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    The lack of a companion is my main reason for feeling suicidal. I am so screwed in this regard. I ache so badly for someone that loves me and I can love in return, the feeling of being unwanted so absolutely horrible.

    A loving person to just have fun with. A warm person to just snuggle up with and watch a movie with. A caring person to hug and kiss, and snuggle with at night. Waking up next to her and looking at her laying next to me. The idea of that sounds like heaven to me. I go to sleep at night clutching my pillow, as if it could be some kind of replacement for this which I crave so much. How sad is that?

    The horrible part is that I've put all of this on a pedestal. It's the truth though, my heart is an empty void, slowly decaying and turning black. The whole idea of having someone to share a life with seems so out of reach. Like it's something I don't even deserve to experience.
     
  16. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    soso sorry I wish I could call you by your real name,I understand where you're coming from I was the same some year's back.Due to my Depression,Ocd and Bdd well I don't know if you know much about that but it's an illness where someone is obsessed about the way they look.Anyway as time went by pretty much I somehow opened up more to girls by simply saying thing's like hello like when you go to the store or something,it may sound silly but you can somehow strike up a converstaion by talking about the little thing's try it slowly by speaking about the weather,music,and always try to ask the girl about her it's alway's a better starting point.
    Look it may not alwy's work but really you'll find that you'll end up having even some converstaion believe me and it will make you feel good.
    I do understand how you feel that not having a girlfriend or perhap's not ever having one does upset and annoy you,but please try not to let it.
    Seriously I'm telling you that you can change in this area you may think that you can't but I thought like that years ago also and I was exactly the same way.
    So you'll see in time the prgress that you will make eventually you will do this,you can talk to me anytime you like Buddy.Lymeside what you have said is that silly or sad at all and are feeling sad about not having someone,but relly and I'm being serious you can have that and I'm not just saying that to try and make you feel better.Believe me it may seem impossible that it will happen but you also can have someone why can't you and everyone or other's can?Please tell me?because you certainly can and will and I mean it and want you to believe it so much.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2007
  17. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    :sad: Exactly. Id be happy with just real life female friends, and a hug now and then...that would be a nice start at least. My sex drive aint up to much anyway, so sex doesnt really bother me...
     
  18. the other guy

    the other guy Well-Known Member

    AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh, "thats all i have to say aboyt that" Forest Gump.
     
  19. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    I typed this right after talking with a person from greece who lost his virginity in a brothel. The talking of sex made me rethink why i didnt choose to fuck my first girlfriend

    Looking back all this girl wanted was father type boyfriend because her ass was disowned by her family. and I was all for it but when we were done with all the foreplay she just said to "stick it in..." At first I was like yea alright cool I finally gonna get some pussy. But after a little while a friends voice came into my ear..."takes only one drop..and your life is fucked, literally

    That got me back to my senses and said wait let me get a condom. Well she said she couldn't wait and wanted to have sex right there. Well thats about it and the rest I guess is history.

    I realized all the headaches, her suicidal pleadings, her not wanting to have sex with a condom, were all signs to me that this bitch is fucked up and was not worth it.

    Sure I told my friends I hit it but the truth is I need a girl to satisfy my mind before we even get to the subject of sex. Sure right now I may have regrets sometimes because I thought I should of just hit it and pulled out, but imagine the repurcussions.(18years homie....18 years)...

    Relationships just for sex is meaningless and a waste of money....
     
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well at least you thought and that is a sign that you are a smart person.

    I have noticed that I most definitly need a person to satisfy my mind. Otherwise I have no interest. This became apparent when I started having sexual feelings towards my best guy friend.

    But good for you I believe now and always will believe that no sensation of pleasure is worth the torments that might result from such an act. Trust me if I was in your position I would have been long gone.
     
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