I've never posted on a forum before. Today, I realized I was no longer afraid of death. How could I be afraid of death when my life was utter hell. It used to be my biggest fear - dying. I no longer fear it. I feel hopeless. I don't have energy for much of anything. I lost my job, my mortgage is due, I have no money, and my husband won't work. He treats me like dirt, and I feel like I don't have a voice. He is controlling and thinks he is always right, even when he is wrong. I want to divorce him, but don't feel like I have the energy for the fight. I am tired.