I've planned

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mayuhito, Sep 8, 2009.

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  1. mayuhito

    mayuhito Member

    Lately I've been thinking about how I will end it. I've already planned everything out in my mind just counting til the day comes. I'm always sad and depressed but I hide it all the time. I just want to die all the time because I believe I was born by mistake. My brother died right after birth and I know that is the only reason I'm here. I feel as if I was not meant to be born in the first place. I want to die because I feel that I am unneeded. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it.
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Please get to know some of the people here before you consider going through with any plans you might have. We have all come to SF with similar thoughts so you will find people here who understand. I've found that talking with other members here has been a great help. My pain is still there as my situation hasn't changed but I've learnt how to deal with it in better ways. I know that without SF I probably wouldn't still be here. Hope you can find similar help and support.
  3. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Who cares if you were or weren't meant to be born. The point is your here. And that's a good thing. Don't let that go.

    You're not worthless. I think this is a big problem for many, they think they're worthless. I know I do. But if you talk to people, you can easily find that that isn't the case. Everyone is worth something. Everyone has something going for them. You are no different.

    Hold on another day, or another week, and maybe your outlook will change.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Maria,

    Welcome to the forum.

    I don't believe anyone was born by mistake, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. We're all unique and here for a reason. ( That's what I tell myself anyway:mellow:) I'm sorry you feel you don't belong , do you think talking to a therapist would help? :hug:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Simon that you should stick around and talk to members here..This forum has saved my life twice now..There are alot of great people here..
  6. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    So just because things aren't going right for you, you believe that it must have been a mistake for you to be born? How do you know that you haven't helped the world somehow in a way you don't understand? How do you know that 20 years from now you will not have helped the world in some way? Unless you're in cahoots with god and have the ability to see your entire life in one go before it happens and you can also see how it interrelates with all other things in this world, then I think you're being premature. Give yourself a chance.

    Ever heard that a butterfly flapping its wings can trigger a hurricane half away across the world? While it would be virtually impossible to corroborate this definitively, I think it also applies to people. It only takes one word spoken by a single person in a single moment in a special place and time to change the world in ways none of us can predict and noeone will remember but is every bit as important as any thing you can think of that's important. Unless you're god, please don't judge yourself worthless.

    Life is a place of pain and awe and goodness and hate. Sometimes there're storms that pound the earth, earthquakes the shatter the ground beneath us, and diseases that take our loved ones away from us. In all this, remember that while rose bushes have thorns, it's the roses we live for. There's always goodness and beauty just waiting to be found, if we have the strength to survive the hate and pain that come along with them in a universe that's indifferent to our plight.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2009
  7. mayuhito

    mayuhito Member

    I feel as if I may be able to get through this time by coming here. Everyone seems so nice here that I can't believe that people like this exist with all the hate in the world today. I believe I've found a place that can help me when I'm sad. Thanks everyone for all the kind words.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm glad SF is helping you :hug:

    We're all here for each other :D Keep talking if it helps xx
  9. Tina 2009

    Tina 2009 Member

    I am feeling the same as you. I may be of no help...........I came into this world early & broken. My father beat up my Mom while she was pregnant with me. My father didn't even see me till I was 3 days old because he was in jail. Sometimes I believe things happen for a reason even though we don't understand it. Why did I live ? I have always felt like I was a mistake. Hope I didn't depress you further.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2009
  10. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i was born to be a dartboard for idiots. hope you have more hope than i do.
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