ive reached my breaking point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ittybittykitty, Aug 8, 2009.

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  1. ittybittykitty

    ittybittykitty New Member

    hi. im new here. ive suffered from mental illness for years and year and years. been hospitalized more times than i can count. tried to OD 6 times. even though things were difficult, in some way i had it all -- i had a loving boyfriend for 5 years. and then he broke up with me. i had to pry it out of him... i could tell something was wrong. he admitted he'd wanted to break up for months. that was a few months ago. we still live together... and will for less than a month. we've lived together 3 years. ive been unable to eat, throwing up every day. i need to finish an incomplete to not be kicked out of school and ive been physically unable to focus or sit up and do it. while i stay at home, freaking out and sick, he gets dressed up and goes out constantly, his life suddenly a million times better without me.
    i don't want to live any more.
  2. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    I understand how difficult losing someone you've been so close to for so long can be. It will pass in time and in the future there will be another great guy for you. Just be happy he was there for you for 5 years while you dealt with mental illness. His timing wasn't all that great (then again you dragged it out of him) but nobody can get everything right when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Give it time, he sounds like a great guy but sometimes people just need to move on, someone will fill the new void in your life eventually.

    And on the bright side you're now free to work on fixing your mental illness without the distraction of working on a relationship. Lastly I am sure your school has some accommodations for personal issues causing incomplete classes, call whatever department is relevant and see what can be done.
  3. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hi kitty :hug: firstly, welcome to sf!
    secondly - there is still help out there, therapy, meds, other treatments.. please try and get some help for this hun, it'll make life ten times better.
    also, relationships can be very hard, and i know it seems as though your ex is having a better life without you, but sometimes, going out is a way to burn of steam and cope with things..and you should be looking to yourself right now, trying to get yourself back on track :hug:
    if you ever need to talk, i'm always here :heart:
    triggs xx
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Time for you to get dressed up and hit the town too. You are now an independant time for you only time to get out and do things that will enhance your life. No one to focus on but you. Show your ex that you can move on too he will respect you for this. You and him could be great friends again supporting each other but moving and growing in different relationships
    You can be strong and get a life with someone who truly loves you who wants to be there not just there out of guilt You deserve to have that someone special so get up get dresses and go out and find the right guy
    I know it hurts but staying at home is just feeding into your pain go out and start living again.
  5. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Don't stay at home too much, it will isolate you. It will make you feel worse and worse if you don't have any distraction outside your home... Trust me I know. I haven't been dumped, but I know what isolation can do to a person.

    Is it really is over, then it's time for you to have an own home, move on and try to start a new life again. Try to focus on you and the future, not the past.
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