hi. im new here. ive suffered from mental illness for years and year and years. been hospitalized more times than i can count. tried to OD 6 times. even though things were difficult, in some way i had it all -- i had a loving boyfriend for 5 years. and then he broke up with me. i had to pry it out of him... i could tell something was wrong. he admitted he'd wanted to break up for months. that was a few months ago. we still live together... and will for less than a month. we've lived together 3 years. ive been unable to eat, throwing up every day. i need to finish an incomplete to not be kicked out of school and ive been physically unable to focus or sit up and do it. while i stay at home, freaking out and sick, he gets dressed up and goes out constantly, his life suddenly a million times better without me. i don't want to live any more.