I've recognized my depression, I need help geting rid of it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kugatsu, Jan 29, 2007.

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  1. Kugatsu

    Kugatsu Active Member

    Like the title says, I know I'm depressed. I've known for the past 3 years that I was depressed. Everything that I used to take joy in just seems like a waste of time, I haven't had a creative thought for the past 2 years, I've spent just about every day since last december on my bed, my sleeping pattern is out of whack and I've been feeling worst because of it. I remember waking up at 7 pm and feeling like I wanted to cry for almost no reason at all.

    My feelings of depression all stem from abandonment, loneliness, low self worth, low self esteem, poor self image, boredom, continued heartache, and guilt. My "friends" from my main group are all too busy with school to help me get out of my house for 20 minutes, and 1 just goes to work all the time, and 2 have girlfriends that they spend every waking moment with. Sure, pay attention to your girl but seriously, what about the guys who've been there before she came along? And my friends from my second group all dorm at the school that I can no longer go to so my only contact with them is online which is not enough.

    I just want to know, what can I do to get rid of this? I can't go to a psychiatrist cause their just money sinks that I can't afford and mostly just waists of time and I don't want to coat my brain with medication. I've been seeing around recent threads about how depression is a chemical thing and that only chemicals can fight chemicals but I'd rather believe that I can get rid of it some other way rather than be dependent on a pill. Anyone got any ideas? IM me if you wish on MSN or AIM.
  2. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni


    Im sorry your friends have somewhat deserted you. But thier are ways you can help your depression without using medications if thats something youd like to stay away from. Physical activity can increase the natural chemicals in your brain to boost your 'happy' chemicals. Also your diet camn help, Im not sure as to what type of diet that is, but you could research it a bit and look into it. Also a third way is to keep yourself in the sun, the sun helps boost your mood. You might also want to journal, sometimes journaling will help you to find out what it is that might be triggering your depression. I hope some of this helps, they are all drug free methods to help with depression. I do want to say though if they dont help enough and you find that your still struggling, its ok to ask for help and maybe take a small dose of an antidepressant, it doesnt mean you'll have to be on it for the rest of your life, but it might just be what you need for a bit of temporary relief. Best of luck to you, and let us know how your doing...Im glad you came here and I hope you find the support your looking for...take good care of yourself...

  3. Kugatsu

    Kugatsu Active Member

    I've gone out and searched for jobs and I might even have one by this weekend but, I really don't want this job. I hate working there. I want to work at 2 other places but one is too far and it is less than likely that I'm going to get the other. I hate having to do things that I don't want to do every day. It just makes me feel like life is becoming even more of a pointless daily grind. Like all I'm doing from the age of 20 is saving for retirement. I want to live, not work on a fucking retirment plan.

    Journaling isn't going to work because my depression isn't just triggered. It stays with me from the moment I wake up to when I go back to sleep. And it's not like I don't know what's depressing me because I already know it. Living here with my mom, having none of my friends around, being out of school, perpetual lonliness, no future. It's not just one person or thing, but my environment which I'm stuck in because I have no means of getting out. No money, no credit, no job to finance a move, nothing.

    I just don't know, it's been a couple of days since I wrote this and I've gone outside for walks and such but here I am still. If I were not depressed anymore or anything, I would feel no need to visit this site yet I remain. I don't know, it just feels like this is something that is going to stay with me even though I want it gone.
  4. lost in space

    lost in space Well-Known Member

    Hi Kugastu

    Jodi has a lot of good ideas in ways to deal with depression that might help, I myself like doing yoga, walking and bicycling, they all help me feel much better, but I also take an antidepressent. I resisted for years against taking any med until I ended up in the hospital, I had been to several therapist and they all said that I was suffering from depression and wanted to put me on something...well I finally did go something.

    Many times the negative self talk is the depression talking, and we might need an antidepressent to temporarily get us over the rough spot inorder to put our life in order.

    Good luck with your life and keep posting.
  5. Kugatsu

    Kugatsu Active Member

    I don't want to keep posting. I don't want to be on this site but it's the only place to get what I'm feeling out. If I never post here again, then you'll know that things have been going well. Or I'm dead. And I don't want any meds. I don't care how many people say a little blue or yellow pill made the pain go away or more bearable. I don't want it.

    I have followed some of Jodi's advice but like I said, here I remain. Still in my funk and it just doesn't look like it's going away any time soon or ever.
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I've heard, and had proof myself, that exercise - regular exercise - and fresh air and sunshine are helpful.

  7. lost in space

    lost in space Well-Known Member

    Nobody is forcing anything on you. These are just suggestions. I suffered 35 years with depression before I started on meds, and I've been on ADs for 6 years now. Depression wasn't recognized or treated when my depression started, I was in middle school/junior high, I suffered 35 years longer than I wanted to. Because of my depression I didn't do well in school, work, relationships...life, this is just my story. I hope that you don't have to go on meds, it would be a lot easier not having to take the pill everyday, getting meds adjusted, seeing doctors, ect. But ADs can be a life saver when needed.

    I lived in my funk for 35 years...if I hadn't started on ADs I probably wouldn't be here now.
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