I took a small break from posting here because I was suspecting that talking about it so often was making me feel worse. I was wrong. When I was gone, I missed the kind things that everyone here would offer me. I've never met a group of people that understood me better than all of you do, and I'll never get the opportunity to thank you properly. I've returned. Because I'm desperately sad. I'm feeling worse than ever, and I just keep turning to my blade for answers. Cutting is an icy comfort. It just keeps the feelings at bay for a short time. It's never a long term solution. I have had trust issues with some friends in the past. I was able to tell Rob about my SI and he just couldn't cope with it all. We don't talk anymore. Now there is John. I haven't had the heart to tell him about my cutting. I really want to, because part of me wants a tangible support system. (Not that you guys aren't completely amazing...just sometimes a hug does it.) I've been too afraid to tell him because if I lose him the same way that I lost Rob, I could be gone sooner than even I suspected. I won't be able to handle that. Do I seem too attached? Would I be causing him more pain if I were to tell him? If I choose to tell him, what would be the best way to go about it? I would be glad if just one person would read through this. It means the world to me.