I've started back SI again...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by }{Feather Pen}{, May 5, 2007.

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  1. But it's not like you think. See, my boyfriend gave me a little clip thingy that doctors and nurses wearing to pin their ID cards to them that have the little extendable cord, and I've taken to wrapping the cord tightly around my fingers when I'm stressed out or sad or mad or whatever. Well, my boyfriend noticed this and now he's trying to get me to stop doing it even though it keeps me from actually cutting.

    Tonight is the first night that it actually really hurt my fingers.

    He and I were driving home from town and I started thinking, 'Tomorrow is prom, and your dad won't even care enough to be there to see you off.' My dad lives right up the road from me, but the only time I really see him is when I'm getting money cause otherwise he'd be in trouble with the law for not supporting me. And I was thinking, 'My entire family is gonna be there to see me off, my sisters, my mother, my grandparents, my cousins, but he won't be there.'

    So I started wrapping the cord tightly around my fingers again and again, and now it really hurts.

    I just want Daddy to be there to see me.
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    It's really common to do that. I have a pink shoelace that I do the same thing with - hell I used to do it with my hair and my necklaces until I started breaking them. I wouldn't really count it as SI unless you were doing it to purposely hurt yourself. It really sounds like your doing this as a distraction, or a way to try to slow down your thoughts. Of course, once in a while you will end up hurting yourself with it because you're just paying alot of attention to your thoughts and very little to what you're actually doing. And with the line of thought you've explained there, it's easy to see how it happened.

    :hug: I hope you can get your dad to be there hunny.
  3. He won't be there. I haven't talked to him since Tuesday. Daddy won't be there..
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