I've taken the last pill

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jpfendler, Dec 20, 2008.

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  1. jpfendler

    jpfendler Member

    have you ever felt so isolated and disconnected from your family? well, my mom told me that i am not welcome at my brothers house on christmas eve, we all usally go there. she told me that my brother expected an apology before i can go ther, you see, recently i told my mom that john who use to be my step brother is the one who sexually melested me when i was about 12 yrs old he got me pregant which i didnt beleive that could happen but it did. my mom made me get an abortion, after that it was never brought up again. my therapist and i have started to work though it. my prob;lem is im not allowed to go to my brothers but its okay for someone else go there and worse is that my mom even though she says she knew all along what he did and she still except him in our family im her daughter hes nothing to her the only connection is that hes my brothers brother, my mom says she dosen't want to upset my brother what the hell. im done i just took my last pill and i'm beginning to feel the effects of the, i justc want to go to sleep peacefully.
    im sorry if what i wrote here dosen't make since but i can't even make since of anything.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey JP please call an ambulance!!!You don't want to do this, your depression is giving you false signals. What happened with your step brother wasn't your fault and you can get help for that! Right now you need to go to the hospital and get help there. Then we can work on your thoughts. If your family doesn't beleive you then the hell with them, they aren't worth you dieing over. And if you do succed in commiting you are just letting him rape you all over again mentally. He is the scum of the earth and you will find support and comfort here. Let us help you!!! You know we are here for you!!!PLEASE GET HELP NOW!!!Like I said call an ambulance or get someone to take you to the hospital!! We Care!!~Joseph~
  3. jpfendler

    jpfendler Member

    unfortunitly I just threw up i think the combination of the pill my me sick, I just cant do this anymore i try so hard to please my mom just so she would love me, maybe she'll love me when im dead, it takes something tragic to happen before people open there eyes, maybe thats what its going to take for my family to see that i did have a heart that really hurt, anyways they'll get over it they dont usally notice im around anyways. its getting hard for me to wirte any mor.i havetpo go lay do wn
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    O.K. JP,
    I'm glad you threw up what was still in your stomach. You will probably feel like shit when you wake up, just be prepared for that. Put a garbage can next to your bed incase you get sick again. Get some rest and we can talk later.~Joseph~
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I was abused as a kid, and my family is in total denial over the whole event. But you know what? F*ck them! You don't deserve to be isolated because of what happened to you.

    If you ever feel upset because your family's full of idiot, know that people here like you, support you, and want you to get better.

  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm glad you are okay hun.

    I'm always here if you need to talk x
  7. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i am sorry you are going through this. it is not your fault :(
    please consider contacting rainn if you are in the usa, they can help you with this:


    and of course continue posting here. people care x
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you have had to go through all this jp. It is easier for family to ignore or deny something like this has happened than to won up to it. They feel guilty because they didn'tprotect you so they deny it. I am glad you were able to post here and reach out for support. :hug:
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey JP,
    I am just following up with you to see how you are doing? I hope time has given you a chance to rethink things. Your family may not want anything to do with you but your family here on the forum does!! We care what happens to you!!
    Are you in therapy or do you just see your shrink? He may need to do a med change for you. It seems like every two years I have to change meds because the ones I am on quit working. I guess I build up a tolerance to them. I am going back into the hospital after the first so they can monitor me with the dosages. I'm going back on my original med from fifteen years ago and build it back up to a high dose.
    Like I said earlier I hope you are doing better and are in a better state of mind. Take care of yourself!!!Your Friend!~Joseph~
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