I've totally lost it.

[AlienBeing]

I'm so far gone I'm sure there's no way back. I'm just waiting for my Mom to pass away from cancer. She's stubbornly defying the odds and continues to hang on against all predictions. She will not survive it in the end though and then I can go too. There is no one left to care after that. I haven't had a friend in 10 years. I even blew off my support worker this month. Can't even keep a paid friend. I'm starving and not getting enough food to sustain me from food banks. I'm in constant chronic pain that has no cure. I've tried just about everything out there for depression and am almost through the list of available experimental treatments. I had bed bugs and I'm worried they'll come back. I saw the first cockroach I've ever seen in this place in 5 years on Christmas morning. I'm bugged out, stressed out and too depressed to function. I'm just hanging on until I can go without hurting anyone but it is so hard to hang on. I keep trying things that might help me hang on a little longer but nothing is working.

If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you---F. Nietzsche

 

[vir]

I get the feeling. It sucks. I've even had bedbugs before. Heck, I took one of the pictures for their wikipedia page.

And as bad as it sounds, I kind of envy you, in that soon there won't be anyone to miss you. But I bet you're wrong that no one will miss you. Certainly no one will like your mother would, but I bet there are plenty of people whole will. Hell, even I'm curious as to how some of those experimental treatments you were talking about turn out. But I'm not sure I'm the best one to be giving advice.

Um... watch My Little Pony? It's hard to be depressed when you're watching something that cheerful.

Wish I could think of something else to say you haven't already heard before. Try going to the postsecret community forums. Largest girl to guy ratio of any forums on the web that I know of, and they're all super nice and kind of emo. Perfect for someone who's depressed and could use a bunch of girls being nice to him.

 

[AlienBeing]

I don't know about my little pony but I'll try the postsecret forum--even though I'm a girl, lol. It doesn't really matter on the web. We're all kind of disembodied here anyway really.

 

[vir]

Oh... no idea why I thought you were a guy, but I remember going to the postsecret community forums at some point and everyone was like, super nice to me. That was a while ago, but it probably hasn't changed much.