Im so tired. I phoned my parents tonight to find out if they were getting divirced or not because last week after 9 months of no contact my dad phoned to tell me they were and that it was my fault. Tonght my mum answered the phone when I said hi she said whos this? I said its me she said whos me, so i told her and she went 'eh' oh right course, didnt recognise your voice! Ive tried so hard to rebuild everything this past couple of months, ever since being sectioned and being in hospital. I thought about applying to do a nursing degree, everyone thinks its funny like i just switch from one thing to the next, not succeeding at anything, which is true. I just dont care anymore, there just doesnt seem to be anything left for me anymore, everything i touch falls apart, the people I know seem to become depressed just being around me so im bringing them down to. My doctors seem to hate me not that it matters because they're arent there anyway. Everyone tells me to call the crisis team when im like this, should i? is that what i need? do i need to talk and have someone attempt to talk me out of what i really want to do? would i just be wasting their time? or do i do the only brave thing and take that final step?