I've tried getting a job

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by comatosis, Oct 20, 2008.

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  1. comatosis

    comatosis New Member

    I have extremely low self-esteem that I feel is exacerbating my shydom. When I say shydom I just mean the fact that I am shy, quiet, passive, weird, and inclined to avoid people and social situations.

    I've been trying to get my first job (I'm a teenager) as a way to build my confidence and feel...worthy of living. The thing is is that I haven't gotten any calls back and as I don't have a license, and transportation in my town is very limited, I am limited to applying to places that are walkable from my house. So this means theres little chance of me getting a job as there is a little amount of places to apply at.

    Now, in regards to my not having a license thing, its just another example of how fear of going places has made me put off doing something that I should have done a long time ago. I am in my senior year and still using the bus. Another thing that I am extremely scared of, but should have done earlier, is get teacher recommendations for getting into college. I don't even have any rapports with my teachers, I was always a shy lump in a seat that said absolutely nothing and had absolutely no personality. Now I need them and, frankly, I don't feel like I deserve their letters. I showed no friendliness to them(just another result of my shydom). I don't even feel like I deserve to go to college. Unlike my fellow students, I have absolutely no extracurricular activities. All I've been doing is sitting on my ass playing Halo 3. I know its horrible, but I was scared to go to any clubs or to play sports.

    I didn't know that all my lazing around and lack of maturity would come to this. I should have listened to my family when they said I should join a club. Now I'm suffering from a lack of confidence, a low self esteem. And I have been scared. Scared that my classmates and teachers would find out how a pathetic existence I live, one where I do no clubs, no volunteering, no work. I do not want to have an encounter where someone asks "what do you do?" and I say "nothing". I absolutely fear that, and I've been contemplating suicide as the only way to avoid that. Trying to get a job was my first choice, and a drastic one as I am absolutely scared of going out into the world, but since I CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS, I think the only way is to kill myself.

    That's such a crappy piece of writing (excessive and scattered). But w/e. So, does anyone know any choices I have left besides suicide?
  2. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Don't get a job its the worst thing ever. Having this job makes me want to kil myself
  3. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    First off, your writing is great, it's articulate, coherent, and organized. A really hard part about low self-esteem is that people who have it put themselves down a lot when they don't deserve it. You seem pretty smart, if you get decent grades your teachers will probably be happy to recommend you for college. Otherwise you could talk about being excessively shy with a counselor or a teacher you really like and see if that will help in this area.

    Speaking of counselors, see if you can find one who specializes in social anxiety and depression to see if you can get help dealing with it. What I did was check myself in to the hospital emergency room because I was suicidal...you don't have to attempt anything, just go there and tell them. The medics can work out the rest. Also, your family will learn what's wrong.

    As far as jobs, is there any place you could volunteer for a while (libraries are a great idea)?

    As far as clubs or interests, there's something you'd like to be able to do, even if you don't think you can do it. Dancing, playing an instrument, artwork, martial arts...there are quite a few activities to jump into. See if you can get private lessons, and maybe gradually connect with more people who do this activity. Or start something on your own, see how far you can get, and then seek out a trainer. There is always something cool and special about someone, and the quiet kids tend to be more interesting than the loud kids (I know I am).

    You remind me of myself so I have the utmost respect and compassion for your situation. Hope this helps, good luck and stay safe.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Palmtrees,
    I don't have anything else. He/she has covered it pretty good. I just want to wish you well!!~Joseph~
  5. comatosis

    comatosis New Member

    palmtrees: thanks for the advice and compassion. Well, I don't believe a counselor would fully embrace me if I told her about my shy problem, but it would be good to consider it. I do get decent grades (nothing extraordinary though) and if that will count for something I might just ask some teachers for recommendations. I've never considered counseling, but seeing as these are drastic times where I've reached a point where I see no light at the end of the tunnel, no chance of me actually getting brave enough to jump out of my shell, I might just do it. My mom has a counselor that she's considered me going to, it might actually help.

    Actually hearing someone relates to me makes me feel not so pathetic after all.

    Stranger1: Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

    Hey, find solace. You actually have a job, you have something to be proud of. That's more than enough to be proud of. But I guess if a jobs bad, its bad. Your problem is probably more complicated anyways. Anyways, I hope you can find a way to keep enduring life as you still do.
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    get a job, its worth it you can buy lots of stuff with the money

    just forget about everything and pretend that nobody knows you are shy and you can act unshy
  7. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Kinda remind me of me a little bit... not sure that's very good for either of us :?... You have to make your interest seem more club and activity like. For example saying you like strategy games because of the way they make you think. Maybe you've done a few drawings, or read a few books, feel free to say you like to draw or you love to read. I'd suggest taking up a martial art sport if you're thinking of taking one up though, it helps to improve confidence and looks good on a CV becasue of the discipline part. Basically it is possible to make it look like you are interesting and also teachers will always try to write something good about you.
  8. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    I know I live in the UK, but I am CIPD acreddited and specialise in Human Resources and Recruitment. I can help you put together a CV and a covering letter if you want.
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