Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by adamminnie, Nov 15, 2007.

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  1. adamminnie

    adamminnie New Member

    Hi I am very close to killing myself
    my family are bored with my illness my dad doesnt love me
    my sister said that peopel get bored hearing your problems.
    My mum is clueless as is my otehr sister.
    My doctor who said they would see me in three weeks has booked for 6 weeks. My social worker cancelled our last meet the day of when we were meeting.

    I have an inescapable past plagueing my every moment . IF it was emotional stuff i could put my finger n i could do something about it but no it was when i was pyschotic and all becasue of some fukcing pills that were meant o make me beter all teh time i was digging an early grave

    music amkes me sick, people make me angry. none of the people in my life can help and thise in th emedical profession detach themselves form the emotions that can be got from ther patienst dying
    so I AM NOT DOING this for ther attenion they can go to hell if there is one

    all i can here is laughter from poepl i have none.

    i will never be healed of my past they promised me a therpaist over a yeear ago and i havent had one they deined me th right o pyschotherpist and wil only ovffer me cbt which dsimply keeps your mind of the past I CAN NOT KEEP MY MIND FROM THE PAST IT DRIOVES ME CLOSER TO DEATH IT IS UNRESOLVED MILLIONS UPON MILLIOSN OF MOMENST TAHT CAN NOT CHANGE

    I AM thiking about what to say if i leave a suicide note

    dear all fuck it !

    dear all
    its not your fault its the medial profession who failed to help in

    2001 when i was told to leaev a pyshcoloigst office him believing i was just having a short process fo the fucking blues 6 YEARS Later i take my life
    he should be sacked

    issing anti-derpessanst that made me iller then i knew what was happening
    doctors for continaueig to fail me

    the first doctir i saw should have been on the fucking phoen every day trying to get me therapy
    but they will be told that ooo well one or tow slip through there was notingh that could be doen well let me tell yuou this you overeducation clown if i had the mettings when they sadi they would be adn gave me the tehrpay that they said they would o i wouldnt be dead now i want that ON THE RECORD
  2. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    i missed this first post when i responded to the other.

    It sounds as though you have been most unfortunate with docs and psychs. Like us, they have unique ways of dealing with patients that may help for some and not others (i have gone so many professionals to find one that helps me i dont have enough fingers).
    The reality is, some of these people really dont give a rats about their patients, they do it for intellectual fullfillment; which doesnt help you.

    ironic thing is, CBT is thinking against thinking,....when you think of it doenst help entirely and is really only a temporary measure.
    Try things like meditation, and mindfulness training

    i dont think your family would be bored. they may have just run out of ideas with how to help you..mental illness affects everyone not just the person being diagnosed.

    try finding ways of distracting yourself, art, loud music, writing, walking, running or even punching the shit out of a pillow when you feel overwhelmed.

    i would like to talk to you some more, if you like to. again pm me or msg me on msn lexical_ambiguity@hotmal.com
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I feel so badly for the pain you are suffering. I concluded long ago that the medical field is only in it for themselves. Too few of the professionals have never had to experience anything that their patients do. Are there any support groups in your area that you could look into? It is so helpful to be among people that are going through many of he same problems as you. You also get to meet some who are on the road to recovery. They can get you a wealth of information and contacts. Things that the doctors generally won't waste their time on. As for your family, they are hurting too. While you are exploring for yourself, you might want to see if there are any groups or self help information out there for them. Present them with what you find to show them you mean business. If only one family member responds, it is a start. What have you got to lose? It can't get much worse than it is. I have encountered many of the same set backs you have. PM me and maybe we can come up with some ideas for you that I have found to be helpful. Sometimes all it takes is for a stranger to listen. I'm willing to if you like. Please start doing something special for yourself and let the rest of the world take a flying leap for a while. Be safe.
  4. klintmad

    klintmad Active Member

    Hi? I wanna talk with you please read my stuff, I discussed lot of things about your problem.. thank you

    [ How to protect yourself form depression and sucidal?]
    My stuff that really works, just read it.
    thank you

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