Jack of all trades...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Nobody important, Nov 23, 2006.

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  1. ...screw up in each and evey one of them.

    I do have an account here. I've had it for months. But now I'm so ashamed that I can't even show my face. In the past I've proven that I can't do anything right. All forms of work have met with my usual failure. In addition I'm failing as a student, a son, a brother, a teacher, a lover, a friend, an enemy... everything. Now I'm failing as a living being. I'm sorry, so so sorry. I've tried and you've all helped me to try. Every time I try to hope I fall, and it's always my fault. I only have one hope left. So I'm going to use it to hope that dying isn't just something else I'll screw up on.

    Be content to be alive, in that alone you have what so many have been denied... easy enough to say right?
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I only have one hope left. So I'm going to use it to hope that dying isn't just something else I'll screw up on.
  3. Ronin

    Ronin Guest

    I know exactly what it feels like to fail at everything. But dying or attempting suicide is hardly ever the answer. Though sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can start crawling back up. What I've come to learn, and I can only speak for myself, is that it wasn't until I'd lost everything, when I had no more people to disappoint, that I could start building myself back up. I needed to get away from those people, even though I knew some of them cared for me. I think we all need to get away from 'those people' sometimes. Maybe that is what you should do? Start living your life for you and no one else. I know it's hard, but sometimes it is necessary.

    I'd write more, but my brain has stopped functioning as a result of too little sleep. So sorry if I'm not making sense atm.

    I really hope everything works out for you.

  4. Meander

    Meander Active Member

    I appreciate the sentiment but it doesn't matter anymore. My last hope has been wasted. Not only am I still alive, but I'm relatively unharmed. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care anymore. I've used up the last of my allotted hope and now there's no point in anything anymore. Not living, not getting better, not even dying. It's strange... my mind is telling me this should be more painful. Then again pain is only possible when you care about things. The positive creates the negative and vice versa. Now there's nothing. No fear, no pain. Maybe I'm not real anymore... I'll just fade out... that's alright. I'm tired. I want to sleep.
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