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Jack of all trades...

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N

Nobody important

#1
...screw up in each and evey one of them.

I do have an account here. I've had it for months. But now I'm so ashamed that I can't even show my face. In the past I've proven that I can't do anything right. All forms of work have met with my usual failure. In addition I'm failing as a student, a son, a brother, a teacher, a lover, a friend, an enemy... everything. Now I'm failing as a living being. I'm sorry, so so sorry. I've tried and you've all helped me to try. Every time I try to hope I fall, and it's always my fault. I only have one hope left. So I'm going to use it to hope that dying isn't just something else I'll screw up on.

---
Be content to be alive, in that alone you have what so many have been denied... easy enough to say right?
 

sudut

Well-Known Member
#2
...screw up in each and evey one of them.


In the past I've proven that I can't do anything right.
- i don't believe you. right now you, by sharing with us, you have done something right. + even today if you count well, you did ATLEAST something right. life is not all or nothing. it has some shades of grey. ha.

All forms of work have met with my usual failure.
_ Again, i don't believe you. ALL forms of work? USUAL failure? i feel your pain but i just find it hard to believe what you are telling to yourself. FIRSTLY, we ALL, fail at tasks. and with practice, i promise you will find out that you are GRADUALLY getting better, if not perfect. i promise you this. try it.

In addition I'm failing as a student, a son, a brother, a teacher, a lover, a friend, an enemy... everything. Now I'm failing as a living being. I'm sorry, so so sorry. I've tried and you've all helped me to try. Every time I try to hope I fall, and it's always my fault.
- you are not failing as a student. you have just discovered that you need extra help in some areas you are struggling with and thats not failure. now find out who can help you and practice. this is what thomas edison would say to you, i know. do you know how many times he failed? and we call him a genius.
about failing as a son, teacher, lover, friend....EVERYTHING. this CAN'T be true. its certain areas you need to improve on and YOU are NOT YOUR BEHAVIOUR. when you goof up in one area of your life (as we all do everyday), you can't equate your worth with it.
all this hardships are lessons. this earth is a training ground and life is too short. i pray that you will sooner or later find out this truth. change your thinking. thats all.
love is patient, love is long suffering. p.m me if you wanna talk more and if you wanna tell me what really is bothering you instead of saying your are a failure. this makes me feel bad too.
---
Be content to be alive, in that alone you have what so many have been denied... easy enough to say right?

I only have one hope left. So I'm going to use it to hope that dying isn't just something else I'll screw up on.
 
R

Ronin

#3
I know exactly what it feels like to fail at everything. But dying or attempting suicide is hardly ever the answer. Though sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can start crawling back up. What I've come to learn, and I can only speak for myself, is that it wasn't until I'd lost everything, when I had no more people to disappoint, that I could start building myself back up. I needed to get away from those people, even though I knew some of them cared for me. I think we all need to get away from 'those people' sometimes. Maybe that is what you should do? Start living your life for you and no one else. I know it's hard, but sometimes it is necessary.

I'd write more, but my brain has stopped functioning as a result of too little sleep. So sorry if I'm not making sense atm.

I really hope everything works out for you.

/hug
 

Meander

Active Member
#4
I appreciate the sentiment but it doesn't matter anymore. My last hope has been wasted. Not only am I still alive, but I'm relatively unharmed. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care anymore. I've used up the last of my allotted hope and now there's no point in anything anymore. Not living, not getting better, not even dying. It's strange... my mind is telling me this should be more painful. Then again pain is only possible when you care about things. The positive creates the negative and vice versa. Now there's nothing. No fear, no pain. Maybe I'm not real anymore... I'll just fade out... that's alright. I'm tired. I want to sleep.
 
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