Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking already. Coming to suicide forums is a waste of time as no one here is actually any help. I don't really have friends apparently so I need to vent and you guys can all tell me how tings wl gt btr! I'm not trying to troll seriously. It just bothers me I have to come here. I don't know how to pinpoint what's wrong with me. I imagine my lack of drive for certain things and lack of focus are part of the issue which I am hoenstly trying to work on. It's hard when a social life isn't in place to do anything because I just feel like shit. My friend recentlyasked for his computer back and didn't want to be firends hwich is fine since he treated me like shit and I just needed his computer. he talked to me way too much too so I'm actually glad and have no desire to reconcile I spend most of my time masturbating since restoring my foreskin has helped so much. I make Youtube videos too and got an invite today to monetize my videos which made me slightly happier. I am depressed as fuck I can't get a girlfriend and have no idea what to do. I refuse to "Date online" or any of that shit. Iam not completely incompetent and have one meaningful relatoinship in the past and another somewhat. They both did not last long although the friendship and liking of each other the one lasted quite awhile. I've passed up numerous opportunitiesto get girls and am basically fucked now. I have hardly any friends live with my dad and some dumb bitch I hate. At 23 without a working car (My dad was supposed to help me fix) I have money but its all going to rent for the house basically so I am just depressed becasue of my kitchen job at a shitty nursing home. It drains me and I have a 6 page rough draft to write before class tomorrow at 630. Mostly I need a girlfriend. It's pathetic because I am attractive, smart, etc. and have probably been single longer tahn nearly anyone my age. My one "relationshp" lasted two months and I have basically had no one besdies that. My typos I am not correcting sicne this laptop keyboard isn't great. Keep in mind I can spell please. Yeah, mostly I'm growing weary of everything. Having all my interactions online no real meaningful friends and without a cell phone car and little money I can't even get girls to hang out with me really. I love how society expects the man to fucking do everything and then they bitch about fucking gender inequality when its the other way around. That's a subtopic of the paper I'm writing. There's more to say but no reason to say it. I would kill for ad ecent girlfriend NOt literally before someone idiot takes it seriously. I am speaking by using a figure of speech! My life is pretty much pointless and I'm drained.