Jaded as Fuck

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Digital Angel, Aug 16, 2011.

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  1. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking already. Coming to suicide forums is a waste of time as no one here is actually any help. I don't really have friends apparently so I need to vent and you guys can all tell me how tings wl gt btr! I'm not trying to troll seriously. It just bothers me I have to come here.

    I don't know how to pinpoint what's wrong with me. I imagine my lack of drive for certain things and lack of focus are part of the issue which I am hoenstly trying to work on. It's hard when a social life isn't in place to do anything because I just feel like shit.

    My friend recentlyasked for his computer back and didn't want to be firends hwich is fine since he treated me like shit and I just needed his computer. he talked to me way too much too so I'm actually glad and have no desire to reconcile

    I spend most of my time masturbating since restoring my foreskin has helped so much. I make Youtube videos too and got an invite today to monetize my videos which made me slightly happier. I am depressed as fuck I can't get a girlfriend and have no idea what to do. I refuse to "Date online" or any of that shit. Iam not completely incompetent and have one meaningful relatoinship in the past and another somewhat. They both did not last long although the friendship and liking of each other the one lasted quite awhile. I've passed up numerous opportunitiesto get girls and am basically fucked now. I have hardly any friends live with my dad and some dumb bitch I hate. At 23 without a working car (My dad was supposed to help me fix) I have money but its all going to rent for the house basically so I am just depressed becasue of my kitchen job at a shitty nursing home. It drains me and I have a 6 page rough draft to write before class tomorrow at 630.

    Mostly I need a girlfriend. It's pathetic because I am attractive, smart, etc. and have probably been single longer tahn nearly anyone my age. My one "relationshp" lasted two months and I have basically had no one besdies that. My typos I am not correcting sicne this laptop keyboard isn't great. Keep in mind I can spell please.

    Yeah, mostly I'm growing weary of everything. Having all my interactions online no real meaningful friends and without a cell phone car and little money I can't even get girls to hang out with me really. I love how society expects the man to fucking do everything and then they bitch about fucking gender inequality when its the other way around. That's a subtopic of the paper I'm writing.

    There's more to say but no reason to say it. I would kill for ad ecent girlfriend NOt literally before someone idiot takes it seriously. I am speaking by using a figure of speech!

    My life is pretty much pointless and I'm drained.
     
  2. Hoasis

    Hoasis Well-Known Member

    Hey man, its good to vent out sometimes! And just to let you know, you are not alone in this kind of situation, I am 28, never had a serious relationship, no friends. Basically what I do on internet is my whole life. Anyway tro to focus on one positive thing in your life and hang on to it...I dont know what else to say other than I know its hard!
     
  3. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    That's not very reassuring :( I need a girl so badly. ..

    Thank you for your post however.
     
  4. Hoasis

    Hoasis Well-Known Member

    What I am thinking though is that before we can get a girl, we need to get some friends and be happy with our life. I mean, who wants to date a depressed guy with no friends? Just my thoughts though...anyway to get a girl I will travel to amsterdam next, many nice chickens for a good price;)
     
  5. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    When your out there looking for a relationship, it sometimes seems impossible to find one, sometimes the right person just comes along when you least suspect it.

    There are decent women out there. I know I am one of them. I would never cheat on someone, or treat them badly, and I have plenty of love to share to someone who would return the feelings.

    I am not in a relationship right now, but I'm not going to give up hope that it won't happen.. I think there is someone out there for everybody.

    I don't think this forum is a waste of time. Get to know everyone and you'll find out what a wonderful bunch of people they are. No one in my life is compassionate over what I am going through, but everyone here is, and everyone understands what your going through.

    What is wrong with your car? I didn't have the money to pay a mechanic to work on my car, and never done this before in my life, but I changed the radiator all by myself. For a girl, I think that is pretty good. I also took off all my coolant hoses and cleaned them out, and my water is cirulating now, but I have a leak in my engine. That sucks one.. Anyways, google how to repair whatever it is that is wrong. This is a great forum to ask for advice on how to fix your car yourself, they were very helpful when I was working on my car: www.automotiveforums.com
     
  6. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    Yeah, you are definitely right. It's just everything is so stressful and it's hard to get the pieces into place. I hope we both can have some success.

    I would explain everything in better detail but it's exhausting. I'm really not bad with girls. I have gotten some girls online incredibly attracted to me. It's just...at some point you have to deliver and meet them/date them/express physical interest or it's just..... Once that window closes it's gone for good.
     
  7. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    I don't really fit in to be honest. I am over most of the things many of these people are having problems with. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything. I have gone through a pretty much horrible life and had to struggle like hell just to get to where I am, which is broken down with hardly any friends and no girlfriend. And compared to where I was before this is an improvement. It's too much to explain though.

    Yeah, I don't know why I do stuff like that moer. I am so scatterbrained. I will check it out. Basically the engine shuts off when the RPMs get too low, and that's it I think? I hope I can get my YT channel going better. I have over 100 subs now. It's one of the only things that makes me think the last year hasn't been a complete waste.

    And the girl thing isn't even necessarily about sex, than that closeness with someone else. The few opportunities I've gotten a beautiful girl into me (met one on here) it has been a wonderful experience when you are actually togetherin person.

    Yeah, too much to say. Thank you.
     
  8. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Well as the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.. Your young, you have plenty of time to fall in love, get married, have a family. Shit I know people age 60 and older that it's happened to. I guess your never too old for it to happen to, good thing cause I've already hit 40. Yikes...... Mid age sucks, but at least I still look young.

    I haven't been in a relationship for 11 years, by my own choice. Fell in love with someone who I could never have a relationship with, yet I closed the door to a relationship with anyone because of how strong my feelings were for this guy. I hope I can get past that, it's quite lonely to be by yourself. How I would love someone just to be cuddled up beside me of the night.

    Sometimes I think it would be nice to just get a guy to have some fun with for the night, but I can't be intimate with someone I don't love.

    I know it sucks.
     
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