James R.I.P mate

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by TJ, Mar 30, 2012.

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  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    last weekend my friend James was found dead in his unit , about 3 units over from me , he suffered with serve schizophrenia, he couldn't watch TV as he heard voices all the time , he was trying so hard to get out of his unit and not hide away , when we had BBQ he would come out for 10 or so mins as that was all he could handle , then he would go back to his unit and blast his music to drown out the voices.

    last Saturday he took his life and was found the next day by staff.

    he was tortured with his illness and he would barely speak to anyone but he was say hello to me and have small conversations with me as he was getting a bike to bike down to the bottle store.

    we said goodbye to him at his funeral on Thursday , one of his favorite songs was played as they brought him in , changes by tupac .
    we wrote messages on his coffin to send him off on a pleasant note , he was only 25 , a year younger than me .

    i don't know how to grieve for him , i don't know how or what to do so im posting here... im so devastated
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi from another Kiwi TJ :) So sorry to hear about James, and for how it has left you feeling. PLEASE make sure that you have supportive people around you at this time who can just be there for you and to listen when you feel like processing it and talking/off-loading.
    I am sure James took what he felt was the only alternative to end his pain, wanting things to be better, and for reasons that - although other people could see might be able to be fixed - he did not have the resources to face. It's hard to know what else you could have done for him, so please don't beat up on you :(
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is so sad...I am so sorry...but please remember, his fate is NOT yours...you have so much going for you and so many people who care
  4. HollowRhythms

    HollowRhythms Well-Known Member

    Traa, dear, I am so sorry. . . my deepest condolences. I'd like to take the gumption and speak on behalf of everyone here and say we're here for you. . . If ya wanna scream, cry, vent, question, anything... Make sure to take care of yourself in these crappy times... Seems like that's when we neglect to the most. . .

    I send my love dear... If there is anything we can do, just let us know hon. :hug:
  5. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you during this tough time. So sorry to hear about James. Make sure you reach out for any help you might need during this time. Sending love and prayers your way.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :hug: My stepfather was schizophrenic and killed himself also...I can't imagine how hard it was for him. Sometimes it's hard to grieve because it's a big shock at first....at least you are posting here and hopefully getting some of the bad feelings out. Take care of yourself and please keep posting.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just sending you some care okay and i too hope you have someone to talk to in real life It is so sad when an illness takes one away dam voices hugs toyou
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    TJ I'm so sorry you lost your friend ...
    as everyone else has said..please keep reaching out for help if you need it
    grief will set it's own pace with you..take care
  9. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. You sound like you were a great human being to him. And I'm sure that he knew this, despite his illness, and was thankful to you for your care. Sending you my sympathy.
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