Jason *graphic/assault/abuse trigger*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by underdosed, May 19, 2007.

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  1. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    i finally got the courage to post this after reading indimenticabile's story which is so like my own. (kinda long-i appreciate your time in reading it)


    when i was 13, my ex Jason was 18 and we were together for about 7 months. he was the worlds greatest boyfriend for like a month until he started wanting to have sex. he would say we should have sex and when i avoided the subject he called me a slut and told me i was a bad girlfriend. he was my first real boyfriend so i was inexperienced and i thought it was normal. it was a matter of weeks until he was hitting me. daily. he would pick me up after school and he would always want to have sex. about 2 months into our "relationship" we were up in his room when he said we HAD to have sex, that he had waited too long and i was just being a bitch to deny him what he deserved. when i protested, he threw me onto the bed and pinned me down with his hips and one arm while he pulled down my skirt. the harder i cried the harder he hit me. he kept calling me a slut and a whore and telling me to stop pretending like i didnt want this.

    when i woke up, it was the morning and i was sleeping with him in his bed. he kept apologizing about it and saying he didnt mean to and he felt so bad. he had such a bad family life i just forgave him. i was so stupid. the abuse continued for 5 more months until my guy friends walked in on him r***** me and breaking my wrist at a party. they told him if he ever came near me again, they would kill him.

    the most pathetic part of the entire thing is that for a while i missed him. when it was good, it was so good. i know now that it was a horrible relationship but i still sort of love him in a way. and i feel stupid everyday for letting him do it all. now all i want is to die
  2. Psyclox

    Psyclox Member

    I'm so sorry for what happened to you, you where so young and this guy jason took advantage of your innocence and violated you in a way no should, I feel for you and I hope in time you will find peace.
  3. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    Do not feel stupid. You did nothing wrong. You were a victim of sexual assault. I am not going to say the road forward is easy as I am not handling my assault well. But I will say, for some people therapy and rape counseling do help. Try and explore areas you think you may be comfortable to talk openly besides the internet. I know the pain you feel and I hope you will come to terms with it one day and live a happy life.
  4. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    None of that was your fault at all. You didn't let him do anything -- HE WAS THE ONE AT FAULT! Please try to understand that and don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing at all.
  5. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    so im a lifeguard at the pool and i did a few flips off the diving board. both times i under rotated and landed REALLY hard on the backs of my thighs. the next morning, i woke up with it feeling swollen and bruised. idk why but it made me really upset since i guess i felt like i used to whenh he would hit/spank me with something really hard. when i got out of bed, i was crying because i was scared, not in pain.
  6. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear about what happened to you =( It is vile, disgusting and wrong. People like your raper should not exists =(
  7. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    All rapists deserve the following:
    1. Not to be called a human being
    2. Death.
    I am so sorry for what you had to experience hun.
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