Jealousy any tips ?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by jane doe, Jul 31, 2010.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i cant stop feeling jealouse everytime i see my bf used his email address. A long time ago i know he used to "chat " with some other woman, but its all over now and i thought i got over it. He had given me his password once. and everytime i felt jealouse i logged in and felt no more jealousy, and actually i stopped "sneaking" into his email acc. Well a while ago he started working again (after 9 months of having him at home all day) and i started feeling jealouse again,so i tried to log in just to feel good again and the worst is that he changed his password again, so now ive been jealouse for a really long time, and im getting sick of feeling jealouse. Im sick of the need to check his emails to double check he doesnt talk to anybody else. I used to think that i trusted him, but everyday that goes by i feel that less and less, and its driving me crazy.

    So, to sum up, any1 has a tip to reduce my feelings of jealousy? i know it must be lack of self confidence or something, im always scared he might leave me for somebody better
     
  2. Stray

    Stray Account Closed

    Hi there, i to have a problem with jealously, it's an awful feeling! Tbh there isnt alot you can do about this natural emotion. x
     
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thnx pal
     
  4. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    relationships should be built on trust
     
  5. Chameleon76

    Chameleon76 Well-Known Member

    If you can't trust him, and feel a constant need to check up on him, then is the relationship really worth it?
     
  6. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    Instead of trying to reduce jealousy you could talk to him about what’s bugging you.
    And if you feel that he would leave you for someone better then maybe he's not a good partner.
    But I think the main issue is you don't trust him as much as you wish so I suggest on working on trust. Besides he hasn't actually done anything wrong from what I can make out.
    Good luck :)
     
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hey Jane doe,

    I don't really know why I am replying to this because I don't think I really have any advice for you.. but I wanted you to know you are not alone.

    I really wish I knew what to say to you. I feel like this a lot of the time :-( And I also know how much it affects the other person in the relationship too. Make sure you tell him that it is YOUR problem ... that it's a lack of self confidence, rather than not trusting him (which I'm assuming is the case here)

    If you want to talk about this in more depth, pm me :)

    :hug:

    Sam
     
  8. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    this is exacly my problem, because is not doing anything to deserve this kind of insecurity from me, plus its only regarding his emails, ive managed to reduce the jealousy i felt regarding him not being around here.

    THanks a lot for the replies, it really helps me reading them, and ill make sure to read them everytime i feel a jelousy spike ;D
     
  9. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    This is the pot calling the kettle black (because if I knew my ex's password, I'd probably check his e-mail). Tell your BF that you think it's a bad idea that you know his passwords (because it is). Ask him to change them and NOT tell you what he changed them to.

    If he wants you to know them in case of an emergency, he can keep the passwords written down and locked away somewhere, like in a lockbox or in a safety deposit box. So, in theory, you CAN get to them, it's just such a giant PITA..you really can't do it on impulse or sneakily.
     
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