Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Domo, Jul 22, 2010.

  1. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I seem to be struggling with jealousy at the moment. I've never considered myself a jealous person before but lately it is becoming as issue for me.

    For example, if a friend is showing attention to someone else while we are talking or if i don't get what i deem to be a satisfying amount of time alotted to me. I am like a child and sook about it. I do my best to hide it, no one thinks of me as a jealous person, but i think soon it might start showing if i can't get a handle on it.

    I can't imagine what i'd be like if there was a love interst in my life.

    I know it's just me being insecure, but it's a horrible thing to feel jealous.

    Does anyone have the same problem or been able to overcome it?

    I'd just like to be able to nip this in the bud.
  2. sdan

    sdan New Member

    hey domo,
    suffered th same with a gf,
    she was hot n extroverted,
    n i couldnt handle some peoples reactions 2 her,
    and ending up losing her,
    its sureley just a negative pointless emotion,
    but 1 thats so hard 2 brush under th carpet,
    cant advise atall but try b strong ,
    n love yourself, peace
  3. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Hi sdan,

    I'm sorry you lost your girlfriend because of this. That is exactly what i am afraid of. I've only recently started opening myself up to people and i'd hate to lose them over such a pointless emotion.
  4. sdan

    sdan New Member

    ive always been maybe too open n loving,
    it probably wouldnt hav hurt to keep my cards closer to my chest,
    but its a fine balance i spose!
    take baby steps if u do have insecurities,n open yourself freely to the people u know respect u,
    n sometimes gut feelings bout <freinds> can b true !
    hard it might b but sum peeps arent worth knowing,
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I don't think jealousy is a totally pointless emotion. It's good to be jealous.. to a certain extend. Being slightly jealous when your partner or friend gets some attention from someone else, can keep you motivated to keep appreciating that person to their worth. Like, you're less likely to take someone for granted when they're getting attention from others.

    But I know it's not a nice emotion to feel. Annoying, more like. Not just for the other person but also for yourself.

    I think best you can do, is maybe talk about the feelings? Or just think, people aren't your friends for no reason. They hang out with you, because they like you. If they'd like other people more, they wouldn't be spending time with them as well as you. And in your head reverse the situation. You want to hang out with them as well as other people, right? And you don't mean anything with it, no reason for the other person to get jealous then, right?

    Just keep thinking like that when jealousy starts taking over.

    I hope that made sense. :hug:
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm going through a similar situation at the moment with someone I always thought of previously as my best friend, even though we never really shared problems or had a closeness that had any depth to it. There's a mutual acquaintance of ours who he has increasingly become closer and closer to over the past few years and lately it's gotten me into slight fits of jealousy because it feels as though he likes her more than he likes me. It's a purely online friendship between me and him and it was for them too until they met up a few years ago (as they live a lot nearer to eachother than me and him do), but they are more and more often meeting up and spending time with eachother in real life and it's made me very cynical and almost cold towards them both.

    I know it's silly, because they're just friends like we are, and I'm sure she doesn't get jealous of me so why am I feeling this way? It's not as though I fancy him either. I've considered him my best friend for over four years now despite our relationship being nothing more than talking about mutual likes and dislikes, and it's pissed me off no end to have her muscle her way in and take over.

    I don't really have any advice, given that I'm in a similar situation. The best thing you can do is try and accept it and think along the lines Sa Palomera stated above - reverse the situation in your head. In the end the jealousy will only serve to worsen the situation with your friend and perhaps even drive you apart.
  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing your experience Avarice. And yes you are right Sa. I guess it's just such a strong emotional response i am not really in a logical place but you are right. I'll try to take a step back and think about what you said.

  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I'm not really a jealous person, but it does bother me sometimes. When I'm feeling that way, I just step back and say to myself "What does it matter?"
  9. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I guess it's just me being insecure and feeling like i am 'not enough' for that person. Which is stupid because logically i know that it's nothing to do with that.

    I am such a woman sometimes :rolleyes:

  10. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

  11. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    This is driving me really fucking nuts.

    I tried thinking along your thought pattern, Sa... but i can just come up with excuses to make it not valid.

    :blub: :nerves: